Interview With the Vamp II

Part II

This is the second of three parts from my interview of a professional escort. The first can be read here. N.B.: The sexual content of this second part is rather more graphic than the first.

Picking up where I left off—

What’s the funniest thing that ever happened at work?

The funniest thing? Hmm, probably the funniest thing was when a guy came and brought me a bunch of snacks.

Literally he walks in the door and places like bowls of chips out and all around, and I’m like, “Okay, he’s supplied. That’s cool.”

Kinkiest thing?

The kinkiest thing was, I had a client who…wanted me to f*** him [anally] with my fingers and scratch his [scrotum] as hard as I could and hit his [testicles] as hard as I could. He’s like, “No, harder!” And I’m, “This has got to hurt you.” But he’s like, “No, harder, harder!”

I have a lot of guys who are into… God, I have no idea what it’s called, but it’s this special oil, which has the look and feel of [semen].

[I suspect she’s talking about this. (Thanks again, Google.)]

It’s very sticky and slimy, but it doesn’t smell like anything, and it doesn’t taste like anything. And they pour it all over your body, and they slide all over you. It’s really gross actually [laughs], and if it dries out, when you wet your body it becomes extremely sticky. You feel like this goo monster.

How long does it take to get that off in the shower?

Oh wow, I had one client who just slathered it everywhere. I had to postpone my next client because it took me about 45 minutes to get it all off of me. But it makes your skin very very soft. [laughs]

So there’s a benefit.

Yeah.

What do you do with your free time?

I like to hang out at the beach, I like to do… 24-year-old things. I go downtown in Ft. Lauderdale, I hang out, I go to bars, I have a boyfriend, have a real life.

How has the job changed going out?

Drastically. Now I go out every weekend. I get to do the things I want to do. I’m taking my boyfriend to Hawaii for his birthday. Two weeks later we’re going on a cruise. Money’s not a problem. We go to dinners, we go out, I buy new clothes.

Can I ask how much your boyfriend knows?

Nothing. He knows absolutely nothing.

He’s a very trusting boyfriend?

He’s very trusting. I have nightmares all the time that he finds out. It would be devastating, but for right now I’m doing what I’m doing.

Are there things that you’ve done with clients that you wouldn’t ever do with someone you’re dating?

I don’t do that slippery wet thing with someone I’m dating. I don’t. I will allow [clients] to do a little a**play, as far as like with their tongue or with their fingers. That’s something I will not stand for with a boyfriend. I just won’t.

Receiving or giving?

I don’t give [anilingus]. Receiving, I’ll let them do it because a lot of the guys, they’ve seen a bunch of porn, and they just want to like act out what they’ve seen in porn. So they’re like, “Oh, I know this is gonna feel good; let me do it,” and I’m like, “Whatever, just go ahead.” So um, it’s just it’s wet, and it’s gross, and I don’t really like it. So, not something I would ever tell my boyfriend like, “Hey let’s try this.”

Do you have a specialty? Something you do better than the other girls?

The girls are, they’re ranked in “girlfriend experience,” and then there’s the plus, and then there’s plus plus, and then there’s porn star experience. The difference is, if you’re just doing girlfriend experience, you’re just getting the basics your girlfriend would do, so she’ll do it with a condom on, and she’ll, she’ll f*** you with a condom, she’ll give you [fellatio] naked, so without a condom. If you’re adding the plusses, that’s when you’re adding CIM, which is [ejaculate] in mouth. That’s one plus. To add a second plus is if you swallow. So I do provide the plus plus. I do swallow. If you’re going into porn star experience, you’re getting anal, you can tie them up, you can do pretty much anything you want. With me, I don’t provide anal. I don’t do anything like that. Anything else that’s additional that somebody wants to do or try, they have to ask me. And they definitely will ask you if they want to tie you up, or they want to…pee on you, or all of the weird kinky things. I don’t really get a lot of them. I’ve maybe gotten like two in the whole time that I’ve worked, so I don’t really get a lot of the freaky ones. The freaky ones will go to porn star experience for anything like that. I mostly provide, um, just the basic stuff.

Does porn star experience include intercourse without a condom?

No. There’s no “bareback.” They will try. There are scumbags who try. They do a lot of little tricks, like they just try and put the condom on the tip of the [penis] and then insert it so the condom will fall off into you purposefully, so then they’re f***ing you without one, so that you have to watch out for. When they come behind you, and they’re doing it doggy, they’ll pull it off and then stick [their penis] in you. You have to know that you’re always…feeling him, always inserting it yourself.

What are the most common positions?

It’s a lot of missionary, a lot of missionary [laughs] and a lot of doggy. A lot of them will come in, and it’s like, “Well what do you like, what gets you off, which position gets you off, what do you want me to do to you?” And I just want to tell them, “You know what I want? I want you to just get out the door. I want you to leave the money and walk out. That’s what I want.” But you’ve got to play into it, and “Oh, I like that right there,” and this and that. Some guys they like to get inventive, and they like to do things that they don’t get to do at home. A lot of them like the swallowing. It’s a big thing. Even if they’re f***ing you, they’ll ask you, “Hey, can I stop and you [use your mouth] to finish?” That’s a big, big one.

[In this situation the apparent health benefit¹ of swallowing semen is unlikely to be realized.]

Are there other things that a guy might ask for that you absolutely won’t do regardless of what the money is?

I don’t do anal. I don’t bareback. They will always offer you money to bareback. I won’t bareback.

Is that more for pregnancy or for HIV or…?

HIV. As far as pregnancy, I’m on the pill just because I have a boyfriend, but no I don’t want your diseases [laughs] so yeah.

Are you proud of your work?

Um, no. [laughs]

How does the first time you did this compare to the first time you had sex?

The first time I did this I was walked through it. I was put with someone who’s been in the industry and seen a lot of girls, and it was very easy. It was like, “Now we’re going to do this, okay?” and “Are you okay with this, or okay with that?” It was a lot easier than I thought it was going to be honestly. Compared to losing my virginity, the nerves were much higher my first day on the job. I lost my virginity very okay-let’s-do-it. Let’s just do it to do it. I was a little older. I lost my virginity at 21.

[This, for me, was the most surprising statement in the entire interview. In light of everything else she revealed, it seems unlikely to be false.]

So how does it all compare to what you were expecting when you first decided, “Okay, I’m going to do this.”?

I thought it was going to be a lot dirtier. I pictured the in-calls a lot different. My in-call, I guess I shouldn’t say exactly where it is, but it’s a five-star hotel. It’s not anywhere that you would walk into and be like, “An escort service gets run out of here.” I thought there were going to be a lot more a**holes, and I do see the a**holes [figuratively speaking...at least], but I thought it was going to be a lot more of the f***ing. I thought it was going to be a lot of, “Get me the f*** off, and then I’ll give you your money.” That’s not really how it is. It’s a lot of, “[timidly] Okay, can, can we do this? And can I do this? Are you okay to f***, or, is that okay?”

Do you see a lot of drug use?

No. No. Not at my price point. A lot of those are off Backpage or Craigslist and those kind of things.

How dangerous would you say your job is?

I don’t think it’s as dangerous as [I believed it was] when I first started. I just do certain things to protect myself personally…I never touch the money. I never say, “Yes, I’m going to have sex with you for money.” I know to let them get comfortable and take their clothes off. If they’re not taking their clothes off they’re a cop. If they won’t touch you or fondle you they’re probably a cop. As far as violence and things like that, my boss is always right next to me. I’ve never had a problem with it personally. There was another girl who worked for us, but she allowed it to happen. The guy was really aggressive with her, and tied her up, and was like hitting her a little, but the thing is…we’re supposed to have a three rule, like the three-strikes-you’re-out kind of thing. There’s a nice way to say it. “Please don’t do that, Sweetie. I don’t like that. How about we try this instead?” If they don’t get that then you say it a little more sternly. If they proceed a third time, it’s, “Okay, I’m calling my boss. You need to get out of the room.” I always carry things with me. Whether it be a Taser or pepper spray, it’s always in the night stand. It’s always next to me, but I’ve never really had a problem.

What’s the best thing you can do to get a big tip?

Most of my clients don’t tip me, but…

(To be continued)

1 Koelman, C.A., Coumans, A.B.C, Nijman, H.W., Doxiadis, I.I.N., Dekker, G.A., & Claas, F.H.J. (2000). Correlation between oral sex and a low incidence of preeclampsia: A role for soluble HLA in seminal fluid?. Journal of Reproductive Immunology, 46(2), 155–166.

Dr. Scheyd can be followed on Twitter. @GlennScheyd