The Chiefs and the NFL Shouldn't Be So Quick to "Shake It Off"

The Kansas City Chiefs have a lot to celebrate, with another Super Bowl win adding even more credibility to their growing NFL dynasty. Congratulations are certainly in order, but there is a blemish that warrants further discussion. That blemish was a heated moment instigated by the team's star tight end, Travis Kelce. The moment occurred in the second quarter when Coach Andy Reid took Kelce off the field for a play that resulted in a Chiefs fumble. Kelce was shown storming angrily toward Reid, shouting aggressively and even pushing into him. Reid was knocked off-balance, but did not otherwise offer any on-screen reaction. A teammate pulled Kelce away, and the game continued on toward the Chiefs’ eventual overtime win.

Social media reactions to Kelce’s behavior were almost immediately offered up, with many calling it childish, unacceptable, or disrespectful. But those posts were quickly overtaken by accolades on the team's win and the performance of individual players, including Kelce. When asked about the incident after the game, Reid brushed it off with a comment about how Kelce keeps him young. Kelce himself also initially responded with a laugh and joke about keeping it between him and Reid, although he later apologized and emphasized his respect for the coach.

There is no question that Kelce and the Chiefs hold superstar power, but there should be questions about the postgame handling of this sideline moment. The NFL's legacy has often been tarnished by violent behavior, such as fan concerns about physical violence around stadiums or rates of domestic violence among players that are higher than should be expected. The NFL has acknowledged the need to proactively address and prevent violent acts and has instituted leaguewide programming including public service campaigns.

An annual NFL Social Responsibility Curriculum is required of all members of NFL teams and league offices. One topic covered is “healthy manhood and modeling appropriate behavior in family and friend relationships.” As is, footage of the Kelce-Reid incident and the dismissive comments that followed would not fit in this curriculum. But it could be turned into a learning example by prioritizing a fairly simple analysis, just as occurs in post-game footage review.

Healthier Coping Strategies

The incident has already happened; it’s not possible to erase that moment of high-pressure stress that triggered the undesirable behavior. But instead of brushing it aside, Kelce and Reid could have immediately owned it by stating that it wasn’t the best choice of response. They could then walk through what happened, and strategize alternative plays for Kelce in that moment. This is what’s called a behavior chain analysis, a technique used to understand why a particular behavior occurred with the goal to identify healthier coping strategies that could “break the chain” of undesired behaviors.

The important point is that this analysis most often occurs after an event has already occurred. The person works to think back through the situation, identifying what was happening just prior to the behavior. This increased awareness helps to identify desired behavior change and figure out solutions to reduce the risk of it happening again. Bringing negative emotion can be important, such as on the field, but doesn’t fit for every situation.

In the example of the sideline moment example, recognizing the intensity of the physiological response offers a start and indeed Kelce and his brother (fellow NFL veteran Jason) addressed the inappropriateness of the behavior on their New Heights podcast. But they stopped short of completing a full analysis; no alternative plays were offered that could support a better future outcome. Plays to settle the body through calming strategies like belly breathing or grounding it down, for example, could be useful to dial down the negative emotion that was directed toward Reid. Perhaps even a distraction like a musical cue to “shake it off” could have been helpful in that moment. Developing flexible emotion regulation skills has been related to better coping with stressors and overall well-being. It is not about shutting out emotions; it’s about embracing all emotions and also demonstrating intelligent control through use of different emotion-coping strategies in varied situations to enable desired behaviors and goals.

Stardom comes with both good and bad. It’s not easy to have every action scrutinized. But Kelce, Reid, the Chiefs, and the NFL should use this incident, and others like it, as opportunities to lead by example. Our society, and particularly our boys, need them to.