Does Watching Romantic Movies Help Your Love Life Flourish?

It seems that most couples I know are experiencing the dark February challenge of choosing the right movie to watch. There is so much choice. However, like many couples, straight and same-sex, there is often one person who likes soppy romantic flicks and another who finds them superficial and silly.

In my relationship, my partner has practically banished me from watching these movies with her because of my groans or insistence on pointing out the flaws in the plots. I’m not proud of my failings in this regard, but then again, I know I’m not alone. Couples up and down my street often splinter into these same two camps: those who enjoy romantic movies and those who tolerate them at best.

So what does the science say about the impact on our relationships when we watch a romantic movie together? Much to my chagrin, science tells us that sitting there and becoming immersed in romance has the potential to make my relationship even better than it already is (and it is, despite my bad behavior on the couch, pretty darn good).

Here's some of what we know. A 2019 study by Valerie Kretz published in Communications Studies examined the television and movie-watching habits of 306 adults. Kretz discovered what could be the secret pill for romantic success. People who watched television dramas and romantic movies were the strongest believers in the idea that "love conquers all" and reported the most relationship satisfaction. Those hooked on soap operas were also more likely to believe in soul mates.

All of this may come down to the simple fact that we are influenced by what we watch and watch what we most desire. Where one might have wondered if all those ideal depictions of sweaty bods and unhampered affection might set the bar far too high and breed relationship dissatisfaction, I was tickled to read that people who swoon to these melodramatic portrayals of love might be the very people who are more steadfast and committed to their relationships. In other words, movies that ooze with sweetness may be exactly what couples therapists need to prescribe when a relationship is heading toward rocky shoals.

Hmm, it makes me think I shouldn’t be so quick to joke about those badly acted Hallmark films after all.

But there’s more. While it would be easy to suspect that it is usually women who prefer these movies, it turns out that in many heterosexual white couples, men are also inclined to like romantic movies far more than we might suspect. At least that’s what Richard Harris and his colleagues at Kansas State University found when they interviewed 265 young adults. Not surprisingly, though, even if the men and women in the study reported enjoying the movie themselves, they were quick to point out that "most men" would not have liked it.

Despite this stereotyping of men as less romantic, many of the men in Harris’ study said that, if given the chance to enter a fantasy world and replace characters they’d seen on screen, they would be more than willing (and far more willing than women thought) to act out the romantic scenes.

All of this may suggest that as many of us huddle in front of screens looking for entertainment, we may make our relationships more resilient by watching big-screen romance. Far from trivial, when relationships need a little boost, a good ol' fashioned rom-com may be just what is needed to keep us close to those we love.