Why Do We Stare at Misophonia Trigger Sounds and Visuals?

As you may already know, one way to simplify misophonia is to say that the brain mistakes auditory and visual stimuli as toxic or harmful and as a result, the individual is propelled into the fight/flight response. Similarly, the brain’s innate ability to alert us to auditory and other sensory stimuli is essential to survival. Prior to experiencing nervous system arousal, we must be alert to stimuli. Think how we rely on our sense of smell to alert us to the potential danger of something. For example, we smell something burning and we think “fire.”

Alerting often occurs outside of, or before, the individual’s awareness. Unbeknownst to us, our brains are always scanning our surroundings via our senses to know when and where to focus attention. This is known as pre-attention. Pre-attention, then, is not something we control. Rather, it is an unconscious process preserved by evolution that allows us to know when we are in danger (LeDoux, 2015).

Many parents have asked me why their child stares at triggering sounds or visuals. Similarly, many adults have asked me why they feel compelled to stare at that which is triggering them. This is pre-attention at work. It might help to think about how you would react if a dangerous animal suddenly appeared in your room. Would you take your eyes off of it? I am sure you would not. Misophonia triggers are like dangerous animals, in a sense. One’s brain knows to pay attention.

Overriding this attentional or alerting response is not easy. Remember, we are talking about attentional systems that begin working outside of our conscious awareness. If you are a parent with a child with misophonia, then you probably know that suggesting to your child that they “look elsewhere” or “listen to something else” is often futile. If you are an adult with misophonia then you have probably figured this out for yourself and you may have even tried to refocus your attention via your internal cognitions. In other words, you might have “told yourself to look away." You may have been unsuccessful, semi-successful, or even successful at times. Yet, you’ve probably determined that this mind-over-matter approach is not working as well as you would like.

What is the solution? Rather than simply using cognitive skills to solve this issue, try adding some movement if you can. Movement helps us to change our neurophysiology much more easily than cognition at times. Remember the mind will follow the body but the body will not always follow the mind, and this is particularly important in misophonia. Here are some simple tips:

• Don't try to "think" your way out of the problem. If you are at home, get up and move around. It doesn't matter what kind of movement you engage in, just sit and stare.
• Children can jump up and down, dance, or even do pushups. Ask your child what they might find fun in order to engage them.
• Adults can actually do the same. However, if you feel a bit silly doing these activities, then stand up and try some deep knee bends or balancing on foot (you will see that the attention it will take to stand on one foot will help your body refocus).
• If you are not at home, you can transfer these activities for your child or for yourself. Stretching in one's seat at school or in the office often refocuses attention without others noticing.
• Other activities that one can do seated include pressing the palms together to create pressure. Pressure to the muscles and joints brings in the parasympathetic system, which breaks fight/flight.
• One can also tap their feet under their desk (either at school or in the office). Use as much pressure to do this as you feel is necessary and so as not to draw the attention of others.

Understanding the misophonia reactivity from a neurological and physiological perspective can help parse out how we can regulate our responses at the core of the response. Using cognitive skills is helpful but it is important to remember that misophonia involves a millisecond neurological response that begins with alerting to a sound or a visual.

For more resources about misophonia Misophonia Education