Verified by 
Did you ever try to follow a new diet, health regimen, or food program only to have a serious slip? Maybe your inner dialog went something like "It's not working!" or "XYZ food triggered me!"
Using passive language to describe eating mistakes is very common in our culture. Unfortunately, while doing so does alleviate the guilt and shame associated with such episodes, it also leaves us feeling powerless, fearful, and despairing of ever solving the problem. These feelings, in turn, make the next binge more likely, and often more severe.
I'd like to suggest adopting the language of power in these situations instead. A simple twist of wording that aggressively routes notions of helplessness and victimhood in the thoughts and feelings which ensue after emotional eating mistakes can make all the difference. Language is power, and the language of power is what provides us with the opportunity to find solutions.
When you say "it's not working" after a slip, for example, you're unconsciously reinforcing the belief the program is supposed work on you, rather than the idea it's you who is in charge of making the program work. It feels better to think the program failed you vs. believing you made a mistake, but it turns out the brief pain is something we need in order to examine, learn, and grow from what happened. If the program "isn't working" then the only solution is to find another one, and in my experience with hundreds of overeaters, sooner or later you run out of programs!
As an aside, I think the emphasis on the language of powerlessness in our culture is associated with the popular notion there should be a treatment for everything. Many treatments are indeed lifesaving, but often the more effective solution is not a treatment (e.g., a gastric bypass), but rather the work of self-examination, evaluation, and change, which is rendered impossible if you sacrifice your sense of agency.
Another example is the idea that "XYZ food triggered me." Now, I'm totally in favor of people giving up certain substances when they find none is easier than some. Industry is targeting our evolutionary buttons, trying to hit the bliss point in our reptilian brains without giving us enough nutrition to feel satisfied, so many people find they are better off entirely without sugar, flour, packaged chips, etc. No arguments there. There's no doctor out there diagnosing white sugar and flour deficiencies, right?
Still, the idea that "XYZ food triggered me" is both wrong and harmful. What really happened is XYZ food stimulated your senses, reminded you of a previously established pathway between sensory stimulation and a behavior (eating) associated with a very pleasurable dopamine release. Given this association, you decided to reverse your previous intent and eat XYZ food.
I know it may have felt like you were out of the loop, but I can guarantee you this was not the case. The reason I know this for certain, even though most overeaters insist, at first, that the whole process happens automatically, is because when I ask for a detailed description of the emotional eating episode, they articulate every step in exquisite detail. Everything from the moment the thought to go get the cake first occurred to them, to the decision to get up out of bed, put on their slippers, walk down the 14 steps to their living room, walk twenty feet into their kitchen, grab the cold steel refrigerator handle with their bare hands, open it, scan the shelves for the cake they had in mind, finding it, moving other items out of the way, taking it out, unwrapping the cake, walking over to the counter to get a better knife, taking out a plate, deciding how big a piece to take, deciding "a bigger piece would be nicer," walking back to the refrigerator, cutting the slice, putting the piece on a plate, standing at the island counter in the kitchen with some vague sense of "I really shouldn't do this but oh well, I'm going to," putting their fork in, raising the fork to their lips, having a stronger sense of "crap—I'm going to regret this later," opening their mouths, putting the first bite of cake in, chewing it, feeling the pleasurable sensation, swallowing, then going for the next bite, etc.
Every step along this complex behavioral change was an opportunity for the client to pull a lever and stop the train from moving forward. It may have felt like trying to stop a locomotive in motion, but the point is, they were there. XYZ food didn't leap off the plate and force itself into their mouth. They made a decision. There were there.
We aren't passive participants in overeating. Ever.
But you know what? If you decide to reverse your intent and eat cake I love you anyway. We fought wars for our freedom in this country. You can eat whatever you want to as long as you're willing to live with the consequences. Overeating is not a crime, and I'd die for your right to choose freely. But I'd also contend the consequences of overeating are much worse when we abdicate responsibility and free will by adopting the language of powerlessness. It's nothing more than "the devil made me do it" argument in disguise.
Take your power back. Say "I made a mistake" or "I changed my mind and ate it" instead. It may feel a little worse at the moment, but I promise it'll open a whole new world of possible solutions. You don't have to believe me, you only have to try it.
Click here for more tips, tricks, and techniques to help stop emotional and binge eating.
