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Key points
- The holidays are a particularly stressful time, and during COVID, even more so.
- Taking the time to navigate stress can in itself feel exhausting.
- This five-minute checklist will help you notice where you’re at emotionally and plan how to navigate the next few weeks.
The holidays are stressful enough, especially for those who suffer from anxiety or depression. Add to that an ongoing worldwide pandemic that has caused major stress and worsened anxious and depressive symptoms, and you have a recipe for burnout. Many of my clients have shared difficulties in managing the added responsibilities of a holiday that often includes travel, extra tasks, and spending time with relatives.
The problem is that even focusing on these difficulties can feel exhausting. However, taking five or ten minutes to notice where you’re at emotionally and plan how to navigate the next few weeks will have rich rewards. Here’s a quick three-question checklist to find these answers:
1. What are my priorities?
We cannot do everything. Unfortunately, our society encourages perfectionism and causes us to feel shame and failure when we’re not able to live up to these standards. This holiday season, you may need to scale down your expectations by choosing a few priorities. Maybe that is family, and you put your limited energy into planning a gathering. Maybe your priority is safety, and you decide to spend time with a few choice people. Maybe that is rest, and you scale back or cancel your social plans and focus instead on doing what you need to do to recharge.
2. Where can I take time for myself?
There’s no time. Many of us feel this panicky pull quite often. Between work, partners, family, children, and other responsibilities, it feels selfish to take time for ourselves. However, the best way to take care of other people is to take care of ourselves first. Whether that is retiring from a family gathering to watch an episode of your favorite show, taking a walk alone, or even planning a soothing activity (a bath, massage) that necessitates a few hours away from others, figure out how to make time for yourself. It’s been a difficult two years. Calming your nervous system will only benefit the people around you.
3. How can I deepen my enjoyment?
This question brings us back to our bodies, which we often separate from during times of stress. In addition to planning specific times for self-care, we can often tap into presence and pleasure in the moment. Taste the food you’re eating, take a few deep breaths of fresh air, or enjoy the feel of a soft sweater against your skin. It seems absurdly simple, but these small acts can bring joy and calm in the midst of a stressful time.
A bonus question I would ask a client is: What are you already doing well? It’s easy to ignore the ways in which we’re already succeeding, but it’s important to acknowledge and celebrate our accomplishments. Perhaps you had a difficult planning phone call with relatives but managed to breathe through "the whoosh." Perhaps you’ve already put down some boundaries about what you are able to prepare and bring to a group meal. After the holidays, similarly, take a moment to take stock and give yourself a pat on the back instead of immediately zooming ahead into 2022. These wins are worth celebrating and can help boost your confidence in handling the challenges ahead.
What are your checklist questions and or survival strategies for the holidays?
