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It was a matter of time before this psychologist caved, but after over a decade of fastidious Bachelor and Bachelorette viewing and plenty of commentating (here, here, here, and here), I finally sat down to watch my very first season of Bachelor in Paradise. Deeming it too smutty (as if the other shows in the franchise are not, at times, the same), a keen curiosity about cast members who were left jilted or heartbroken led me to tune in this season. After all, who can forget Blake sobbing into a towel when Becca broke his heart, or the tears shed by Tayshia and Hannah G on Colton’s season? I wanted to hear how they were doing and what was next for them.
Once the finale of the show aired, it was finally time to peel off the layers of spoilers and controversy. Unsurprisingly, Blake was in the midst of it all after being dubbed a player in his first days on the beach. If you watched the show, you’d be aware of the infamous “Stagecoach” (which I initially thought might have been code of Coachella, but is actually a real event with more of country music scene apparently). Blake famously “hooked up” with Kristina and Caelynn on back-to-back nights and then moved onto wooing Hannah G by showing up in her hometown in Alabama before the season began. He was clearly making his rounds.
Meanwhile, Caelynn was having breakdown after breakdown on the beach, saying she was Blake’s dirty little secret, as she was supposed to hide the fact that they had had an encounter prior to the show. While the show was being broadcast, Blake released a text message thread between him and Caelynn in an effort to protect his integrity, in which Caelynn allegedly wrote, “if I come over, it’s strictly for sex, nothing more nothing less.” All the while, Blake appeared to be trying to keep her at bay, while she was essentially throwing herself at him.
This is where it gets interesting. When the finale aired, everyone began blaming Blake, saying he was “slut-shaming” Caelynn. The reality is the Caelynn isn’t nearly as innocent as she tried to play. Tears and breakdowns may bring her empathy from the audiences and cast members, but other women have used this ploy to manipulate others to take their side.
Caelynn won over many during Colton’s season when she opened up about her history as a survivor of sexual assault. While no one would ever take away from her story or discredit the severity and trauma in anyway, in the Blake situation, she did not help herself.
To clarify, the definition of slut-shaming has been suggested as follows from Dictionary.com:
Slut-shaming is the practice of disparaging women, and occasionally men, for acting in a manner that violates "norms" regarding sexually appropriate behavior. These denigrations, which are often double standards, range from criticizing women for wearing sexy clothing or having multiple sexual partners to blaming sexual assault and rape survivors for their attacks.
In this case, Caelynn appeared to essentially be pressuring Blake to have sex with her. Imagine if the roles were reversed; let’s use generic names to remove any additional context: Justin text messages Jane and keeps bugging her about coming over to her hotel room to have sex with her. The natural reaction? Outrage! How could he be such a brute, so pushy, right? Why then is there a double standard when a woman does this to a man? Does the concept of slut-shaming mean that it's okay for a woman to harass a man? Often, the definition of a term can be twisted so far it loses its meaning. Did Blake hurt Caelynn’s feelings? Of course. Was it justified? It depends on who you ask. Did he slut-shame her? Likely not.
