Those Who Get It and Those Who Don't

The CEO of a high-flying internet company once told me, "You get it." Although flattered, I wasn't quite sure what "it" was. But now I think I've figured "it" out.

When people tell us a joke and we're a bit slow on the uptake, they'll often ask if we get it. Consider what it takes to get this joke from "Mary Poppins:"
"I met a man the other day with a wooden leg named Smith."
"Oh really, what was the name of his other leg?"

We get it when our mind switches over from seeing Smith as the name of the man to seeing Smith as the name of the wooden leg. The mental leap from one way of framing to another is so mentally disconcerting that it produces the involuntary physical reaction we call laughter.

The CEO wasn't complimenting me on a specific piece of work. He meant that I framed situations the same way he did, that we shared a paradigm, so I could be trusted to always read a situation the way he did and do what he considered the right thing.

I think people either get what neuroscience is teaching us or don't. It isn't just a collection of interesting facts about how the brain works or tips to improve our mental functioning. It's a fundamental paradigm shift that drives a very different way of thinking and acting. In fact, for me the core discovery of neuroscience is that we all operate off of different paradigms.

Since we all see things differently, we can't trust that our words or deeds will be interpreted as we intend. If we want to be effective, we need to account for how others make sense of the world.

Those that don't get it believe we operate in an objective Newtonian world, where external force is needed to move not only things, but people as well. Those that get it know that we live in a subjective Darwinian world, where people are self-motivated and the best we can do is to create an environment that encourages the behavior we need.

We can tell when people don't get it because they:
• Tell people what to do and believe they'll actually do it
• Think promises of rewards or threats of punishment will motivate people to do what they want
• Give feedback to people and expect them to accept it and act on it
• Are surprised when people don't act rationally
• Believe their role as a manager gives them the power to get things done

We can tell when people get it because they:
• Ask people what should be done
• Understand that it's engagement in the work itself that is motivational
• Use questions to encourage self-feedback
• Expect people to act irrationally because they're driven more by their emotions than their reason
• Accept that the only effective power they have is what people willingly grant them

In light of the discoveries of neuroscience, managers shouldn't start with what they want to do. Instead, they should start with understanding where others are coming from, and then figure out what they need to do to get the response from them they want.

Managers that get it are humble about their abilities, because they know how difficult it can be to set aside their egos and adopt someone else's view. Managers that don't get it have defective employees.