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Today, as we reflect on 9/11 and how the world has changed since then, let’s vow to appreciate the simple things in life that many of us can continue to enjoy in this complex world of ours. After all, as you read this, thousands of refugees are fleeing for their lives from Syria, many just seeking safety for their families and the chance to make a living. Many of them are Muslim. But this post is not about issues of nationality, terrorism, politics, prejudice, or fear. This post is to reflect on our humanity and to vow to be grateful for family by celebrating and living out a few simple steps to make our lives, and the world, better.
What better way to honor the people who no longer have this most basic blessing?
Day in and day out, parents and adults face countless technological and commercial distractions and tend to urgencies at work or at home. How easily and quickly we get caught up in this routine and forget to appreciate major qualities in our children or the children in our lives. The research is clear: spending such time together not only prevents children from developing behavioral problems and aggression, it helps them emotionally and academically. Plus, it helps families bond, find satisfaction and function better. Many of us know this intuitively, and yet we still forget to make room for such time.
But not today.
Today we will not miss the opportunity to deeply connect with our children and feel blessed and blown away by life and God. Today we will not pass up these opportunities, but instead, feel the joy of the privilege to peer into and live in our children’s worlds.
Today, because we are alive and free, we will make time to learn about our children’s curiosities, to feel their concerns, to laugh about their quirks, marvel at their strengths and talents, or simply explore unexpectedly mature conversations with our children. Heck, have some ice cream or cupcakes while you’re at it too!
Today, we will accept and be mindful that not engaging and connecting with our children deeply deprives us of fully getting to know the amazing and unique people that they are. We understand that this in turn can compromise our ability to be more supportive of our children. And we appreciate that this kind of engagement, whether at home or in the classroom, and is what ignites children.
In the comfortable homebase that we create, children stretch their skills -- strive, explore, persist, take risks, cooperate, and figure out how to change directions or strategies when their plans aren't working. In short, they start off on a path to grow socially and emotionally -- all while moving the needle toward more wellness in the world.
So while we will #NeverForget the tragedy of 9/11 and how the world changed and became more complicated since then, today we will remember to do so by fearlessly enjoying the simple liberty that many people lack or continue to fight for. Let’s appreciate the little people who hold so much promise in our hearts and in our world, and let's be thankful for what is going right in life. It matters more than you know. And you’ll be glad you took the time to do it.
For more ideas on living and extending gratitude to the young people in your life purchase Making Grateful Kids.
Copyright Giacomo Bono, Ph.D., 2015
References:
Tom Luster et al., “Family Advocates’ Perspectives on the Early Academic Success of Children Born to Low-Income Adolescent Mothers,” Family Relations 53, No. 1 (January 2004): 68-77.
Cooksey, E. C, & Fondell, M. M. (1996). Spending time with his kids: Effects of family structure on fathers’ and children’s lives. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 58, 693-707.
Knoester, C., & Haynie, D. L. (2005). Community context, social integration into family, and youth violence. Journal of Marriage and Family, 67, 767-780.
Resnick, M. D., et al. (1997). Protecting adolescents from harm: Findings from the National Longitudinal Study on Adolescent Health. Journal of the American Medical Association, 278, 823-832.
The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University, “The Importance of Family Dinners II,” (September 2005), http://www.casacolumbia.org/download.aspx?path=/UploadedFiles/cvq5rn5t….
Xia, N. (2010). Family factors and student outcomes. RAND Corporation, Santa Monica, CA, http://www.rand.org/pubs/rgs_dissertations/RGSD256.
