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Peyton Place Goes Digital in 'Men, Women & Children'
A look at Jason Reitman's new film and its exploration of the digital universe
Posted October 21, 2014
A couple of weeks ago I was asked by Paramount Pictures to host a pre-release screening and audience discussion of Jason Reitman’s new film Men, Women & Children at the famed ArcLight Theater in Hollywood. The movie, now out in theaters, follows a group of high school students and their parents as both generations attempt to navigate the digital universe. Along the way the story addresses pretty much every current parent/teen/family digital issue - porn use, video gaming, fame-hunting, self-esteem tied to social media, online infidelity, purely sexualized digital relationships, sexual compulsivity, loss of interest in real-world relationships, disinterested parenting, overly intrusive parenting, etc.
Start to finish, the film deftly employs Carl Sagan’s Pale Blue Dot speech as a metaphor, reminding us that as large as certain problems may seem to each individual user of digital technology, in the big scheme of online life each of us is nothing more than a tiny speck in the vast electronic universe. This thought is actually the crux of one teen’s angst-filled musings. Most of the story’s characters, however, are oblivious to this fact, viewing themselves and their digitally driven issues as paramount. And it is through these various lenses that we see the typical small-town drama unfold - pain, joy, secrets, confusion, and even downright idiocy.
I’ve spent much of the last several years examining the impact of digital technology on human lives and relationships, and one of the things I’ve learned is that the more things change, the more they stay the same. (I wrote about this extensively in my book Closer Together, Further Apart.) In other words, and Reitman’s film demonstrates this beautifully, the basic problems and underlying issues faced by people living in today’s increasingly digital world are the same as ever - generational misunderstandings, early-life trauma playing out in later life (including through parenting), and, most importantly, the need for and/or the fear of interpersonal connection and emotional intimacy. The only real difference between the digital world of Men, Women & Children and the pre-digital world of, say, Peyton Place, is that modern technology facilitates forms of entertainment, romance, and sexual activity that didn’t exist as little as a decade ago - interactive video gaming, social media friendships, easy-to-access porn of every ilk imaginable, hookup apps, sexting, etc.
Based on this knowledge and my initial reaction to the film, my first question to the packed-house pre-release audience was: “Would the people in this story - adults and kids alike - still be having problems, just manifesting differently, without the Internet?” I am happy to report that the almost universal response was “Yes, they would.” In other words, audience members were able to easily discern that the damaged characters portrayed onscreen were likely to struggle regardless of the technological era. Yes, there is something about the Internet and digital technology that clearly amplifies and sometimes even exacerbates human struggles, but it’s not the technology that causes the problem, it’s the person (and the people surrounding that person).
Another aspect of this film that I found particularly interesting and pleasing (and reflective of real-life) was its depiction of the continually widening, digitally driven generation gap. Put simply, many of today’s parents and childcare professionals are flat-out clueless about what kids are doing (and not doing) in the digital universe. Sometimes these poorly informed adults give in to their fears and overreact, while others simply bury their heads in the sand, preferring to not know the truth, whatever that truth might be.
Jennifer Garner’s character, Patricia, falls into the former of these categories. A helicopter-parent extraordinaire, she painstakingly monitors every keystroke of her daughter’s online life, simply because she fears that her daughter might be doing things that put her at risk. Another adult, Kent, played by Dean Norris, is the opposite, with no idea how to (or even that he should) talk to his clearly depressed son about his extensive online video gaming and the fact that he is using it as a way to temporarily escape the pain of a deep personal loss (his mother has abandoned them). The digital generation gap even manifests in the school counselor’s office when the depressed video gamer attempts to explain the World of Warcraft-style game he plays by telling the counselor that he and his friends run around blowing things up together. The clueless counselor is pleased to learn that the boy has lots of friends. This is followed by an awkwardly funny conversation in which the boy must counsel the counselor, explaining the massive difference between nameless, faceless, mostly anonymous online gaming friends and RL (real-life) friends.
All in all, Men, Women & Children holds the proverbial funhouse mirror to American life as it currently is. Yes, the image presented in the film is distorted at times because the fictional characters’ issues are played to an extreme for dramatic purposes - just as they were in yesteryear’s Peyton Place - but the reflection is still easily recognized as a version of reality. In fact, audience members at the screening tended to see in the film some form of their own lives. Those who entered the screening with inherent fears about digital technology and its effects on mankind tended to self-identify with Jennifer Garner’s fear-driven character, pointing to all of the ways in which the Internet was misused and abused. Meanwhile, those who entered the screening more comfortable with the use of digital devices - those with a more laisse faire digitude, so to speak - watched the film and said, “See, it’s only the people who are troubled to begin with who go off-the-rails online.”
In truth, as both Closer Together, Further Apart and Men, Women & Children make clear, there are no cut-and-dried answers when it comes to digital technology and the dangers it presents, primarily because every user logs on with a unique emotional and psychological makeup. This means that some individuals are much more vulnerable than others, genetically and/or environmentally, to Internet-driven perils. Once again, this vulnerability to life issues tends to manifest in counterproductive ways regardless of the technological age in which a person lives; it just does so differently today than a few decades ago.
In reality, most individuals, adults and kids alike, can and do adapt to new forms digital technology and the temptations presented, incorporating and enjoying this aspect of modern life in healthy ways. For them, digital devices present entertainment, light distraction, constant connection, and a means of beginning and building emotional intimacy. Unfortunately, emotionally and psychologically vulnerable people can sometimes “lose themselves” in a digital quagmire, getting stuck in porn, gaming, social media, and the like, often to the point of obsession and losing touch with reality. Still, digital technology is not to blame, and the more thoroughly we understand this fact, the better off we and our children will be.
Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S is Senior Vice President of Clinical Development with Elements Behavioral Health. As a subject expert on the relationship between digital technology and human sexuality, he has served as a media specialist for CNN, The Oprah Winfrey Network, the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and the Today Show, among many others. He is author of Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men and Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, and co-author with Dr. Jennifer Schneider of both Untangling the Web: Sex, Porn, and Fantasy Obsession in the Internet Age and Closer Together, Further Apart: The Effect of Technology and the Internet on Parenting, Work, and Relationships. For more information you can visit his website, www.robertweissmsw.com.
