What Counselors and Others Should Know about Singles: Two Chances to Tell Them

Among the many things I love about blogging are the opportunities to crush singlism, throw a wet blanket over matrimania, and get a more enlightened perspective about singles out there. It is especially terrific when I can enlist readers of this blog in the effort.

Recently, two requests came my way on the same day, one from a mental health professional and the other from an aspiring author. They both want to know what you can tell them about how, and how not, to interact with, and think about, people who are single. In this post, I will relay their questions. Then, sometime later, I'll discuss some of the answers you post in the comments section and add a few of my own.

I. Enlighten Mental Health Professionals

Debbie Crawford Sturm, a Ph.D. and a Licensed Professional Counselor, has been researching a chapter she is writing for a new family counseling textbook. To her everlasting credit, she was appalled by much of what she discovered. For example, she noted that some writers assume that people stay single "because they are somehow hurt, broken, fearful, or are grieving the passage of time," and they then go on to suggest that the role of counselors is to help single people deal with that grieving process. (Excuse me while I slit my wrists.) Debbie also recognized that this is how some people think about adults who do not have children, not realizing that for some, not having children is a choice they are embracing, not grieving.

So, dear readers, post your suggestions in the comments section. What do you wish that counselors, therapists, and all the other mental health professionals realized about single life? Have you had any unfortunate experiences with counselors? Have you had some wonderful experiences with therapists that you'd like to describe?

II. Share Your Tips with this Aspiring Author

Do you have something to tell about being single? Especially about how friends and family can be supportive, and how sometimes, they are not? Kelsey Crowe is writing a book of tips with do's and don'ts for being supportive of the various kinds of lives that people live, including the single life. If you are interested in doing a 100% confidential phone interview with her, you can contact her at kelsey@helpeachotherguide.org. You can also check out her website at www.helpeachotherguide.org.

[The follow-up post to this one is here.]