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Key points
- Cultivating a positive mindset, prioritizing relationships, and pursuing personal growth leads to happiness.
- Happy individuals actively listen to others, express themselves openly, and practice kindness.
- Happy people embrace change and are adaptable in the face of challenges.
Who does not want to feel happier? We all want to. Happiness is a universal pursuit, and while it may seem elusive at times, certain habits and behaviors consistently contribute to a more joyful and fulfilling life. Happy people often share common traits that go beyond external circumstances.
The mindset should be to put yourself in a position for happiness, but not to fiercely chase it. Frantically striving for a perpetual state of happiness may cause you to overlook valuable lessons and growth that come from facing challenges. Moreover, the fear of failure in the quest for happiness can induce stress and anxiety, ultimately undermining well-being. It is well-established that when we unfavorably compare ourselves or our lives to others' idealized "best selves" on social media, it leaves us feeling empty and down. Yet, when we take positive, realistic actions to feel joy, we feel more fulfilled.
As we embrace our responsibility to take a more balanced approach to feel more content, we gain the powerful realization that we can create our own happiness. To do so, we need to learn from both positive and negative experiences, which will lead us on a more sustainable path to genuine contentment.
Happy individuals tend to follow three crucial—and attainable—steps:
1. Cultivate a positive mindset.
One of the fundamental aspects of happiness is the ability to maintain a positive mindset. One of my friends, who has a consistently upbeat demeanor, chooses to focus on the positive aspects of their lives, even in the face of challenges. This doesn't mean they ignore difficulties or pretend that everything is perfect; rather, they are able to reframe situations in a more optimistic light.
As some of my colleagues and I recently shared in a fascinating group discussion, positive thinking is not about denying reality but approaching challenges with a solution-oriented perspective. Happy people practice gratitude regularly, acknowledging and appreciating the good things in their lives, no matter how small.
Gratitude has been linked to increased well-being and overall life satisfaction. I have found that when I share with grateful people how much their attitude positively impacts me, it reinforces their gratitude practice and my devotion to being grateful. We can be grateful for all the good things in our lives as well as grateful for moving past our pain and suffering.
Over my 30 years as a psychologist, I have seen that happy people tend to surround themselves with positivity. They seek out uplifting relationships, engage in activities that bring them joy, and consciously avoid negativity. By fostering a positive mindset and environment, they create a foundation for enduring happiness.
2. Seek meaningful relationships and extend kindness.
Human connections play a pivotal role in happiness. Happy people invest time and effort in building and maintaining meaningful relationships with family, friends, and the community. These connections provide emotional support, a sense of belonging, and shared experiences that contribute to a rich and fulfilling life.
Prioritizing relationships also involves effective communication and empathy. Happy people actively listen to others, express themselves openly, and practice kindness. They understand the value of connection and make a conscious effort to nurture and strengthen their bonds.
Additionally, happy people often engage in acts of kindness and generosity, which not only benefit others but also contribute to their sense of well-being. Acts of kindness, whether big or small, create a positive feedback loop, fostering a sense of purpose and fulfillment.
3. Pursue personal growth.
Continuous personal growth is a hallmark of happy individuals. They view challenges as opportunities for learning and development rather than as obstacles. One of my personal happiness mentors amazes me with his devotion to setting and working toward personal goals and the sense of purpose and accomplishment he gains from doing so.
Happy people embrace change and adaptability, recognizing that life is a dynamic journey with room for growth and improvement. They prioritize self-care and well-being, incorporating activities that promote physical, mental, and emotional health into their daily routines.
Moreover, cultivating a growth mindset allows happy individuals to see failures not as setbacks but as valuable learning experiences. They understand that setbacks are an inevitable part of life and use them as stepping stones toward personal development.
Final Thoughts
Happiness is a multifaceted, deeply personal experience. However, individuals can create a solid foundation for lasting contentment by cultivating a positive mindset, prioritizing meaningful relationships, and actively pursuing personal growth. These steps serve as a roadmap for navigating life's ups and downs with resilience, gratitude, and a sense of purpose.
References
Folk, D., Dunn, E. A systematic review of the strength of evidence for the most commonly recommended happiness strategies in mainstream media. Nat Hum Behav 7, 1697–1707 (2023). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41562-023-01651-4
Sul, S., Kim, J. & Choi, I. Subjective Well-Being and Hedonic Editing: How Happy People Maximize Joint Outcomes of Loss and Gain. J Happiness Stud 14, 1409–1430 (2013). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10902-012-9379-6
Wirtz, D., Tucker, A., Briggs, C. et al. How and Why Social Media Affect Subjective Well-Being: Multi-Site Use and Social Comparison as Predictors of Change Across Time. J Happiness Stud 22, 1673–1691 (2021). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10902-020-00291-z
