Worn Out? Seven Thoughts that Keep You from Taking a Break

You know that you could really use a break.

You’re frustrated and irritable. Your energy levels are low. Everything feels like a chore. You’re easily distracted from the tasks at hand, and you’re no longer working efficiently.

Yet you can’t seem to allow yourself to take any time off. Despite being convinced of the benefits of a “rest note” (see last month’s entry), you can’t seem to step out of your stream of activity, even for a brief time.

What kinds of thoughts might be preventing you from taking a rest? Here are seven possible culprits.

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“I can’t have fun until all of my work is done.” This is one of those principles from childhood that has some reasonable logic behind it: Yes, the ability to delay gratification can indeed help us to be good workers and high achievers. But in some seasons of adult life, we may find that our work is never entirely done. As soon as we bail out the boat, it seems to fill right up again. So we continue to trudge on, but we get more and more tired and frustrated. And here we can get into a danger zone in terms of mental health: Excessive delay of gratification may lead us down the road to resentment and depression. We need some pleasure and rest to keep ourselves emotionally steady.

“It’s better to work than to rest.” Most of us have been taught, directly, or indirectly, that hard work is morally right; it’s a virtue. We hear this message over and over from authority figures--parents, teachers, bosses--and eventually we internalize it. We feel like we are being good when we are working, but we feel guilt and shame if we take a break. We might even come to believe that God is more pleased with us when we are working than when we are resting. If we’re highly motivated to be good people and see work as a vital part of being good, these beliefs alone may be enough to keep us hammering away. (It’s interesting that many of us from Judeo-Christian traditions, though quick to focus on the virtues of work, seem to have trouble embracing the Sabbath rest principle.)

“I’m no slacker.”

Most of us take some sense of pride in a job well done.But this need to achieve can sometimes cross a line, where we start to rely on our achievements to shore up a shaky sense of self-worth. Social comparisons can fuel these fires of pride. If others around you are really busting their tails, you might feel like a loser if you don’t keep up. On the other hand, if you’re surrounded by people who are messing around and wasting time, you might want to distance yourself from those slackers.

“I’m no slacker.”

“I don’t NEED a break.”

You might take pride in being self-reliant or stoic, pushing forward aggressively toward your goals despite hardships. You’re tough! You can handle any challenge that life throws at you. You’re not going to wimp out now by taking a break. OK, fine. It might be true that you can push through...but what are you trying to prove? To whom? In the bigger picture, is this really wisdom?

“I don’t NEED a break.”

"If I stop, I’ll never get started again.” You might worry that if you let yourself unwind, you won’t ever get back in the saddle. After all, physics tells us that a body in motion tends to stay in motion, and a body at rest tends to stay at rest—right? Yes, there is some truth here. A prolonged couch potato mode may leave you feeling sluggish and passive. But you don’t have to let it get to this stage. If you’re nervous about whether you’ll be able to get going again, then think about how much time you want to take off: Do you need an hour or two? A day? A week? Longer? You can set your mind at ease by planning a clear time to return—or at least a time to re-evaluate and see how you’re feeling.

“I can’t afford to take a break.” Sometimes we feel like we simply can't afford the luxury of time off. The cost of stepping away seems too great, in terms of our finances, job security, or deadlined commitments. OK, so it may be true that the timing is wrong for a long break. But under these conditions, you'll still benefit if you can grab whatever small bits of time you can find for yourself---a few minutes here, an hour or two there. And if at all possible, start looking ahead, past this busy season: Is there a natural time in the near future where you could plan to step back and take a longer break? If finances are the issue, could you seek out a financial advisor for guidance? If you are facing parenting or caregiving strain, could you bring in someone to help, even for short periods?

“I just can’t seem to get around to it.” The things that we don’t get around to doing are often those that we consider less important—especially if they are also not urgent. (See Stephen Covey’s excellent writing on this point.) So you might be perfectly convinced that it would be nice for you to take a break; but unless you assign it some serious weight and make it a priority—which in some cases, might mean coming out and scheduling it—you might never get around to it.

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So...which of these thoughts are keeping you from taking that break that you desperately need?