"Blame Her": The Cultural and Legal Phenomenon of Accusing Women

By now, the "slap heard around the world" has been well-dissected. Indeed, two major camps of thought seemed to arise with the speed that Will Smith struck Chris Rock’s face. On the one hand are those who firmly believe that this was a clear case of assault and battery on Smith’s part and that he should face criminal liability. Contrastingly, there are also individuals who instead thought that Rock’s joke about Jada Pinkett Smith’s shaved head hit so far below the belt that her husband’s physical act was justifiable and even heroic, as he was protecting her honor.

However, a third popular theory of blame has arisen — and placed it solely with Pinkett Smith. The justification is that she appeared to glance at her husband uncomfortably once the joke had landed. Since it could be argued Rock was a comedian paid to do his job and whose speech was protected under the First Amendment, and that Pinkett Smith was in no way a victim, one has to ask why she would be at fault for Smith’s actions. Why blame her?

“Blaming her” is a cultural phenomenon dating back to the beginning of civilization. Once upon a time Eve was blamed for Adam’s consuming of the apple and the resulting fall of mankind. Women are routinely blamed for men’s actions in novels, movies, and social media. In the opening monologue of his show, Bill Maher blamed “toxic femininity” for Smith’s sucker punch. Maher jokingly suggested that it was Pinkett Smith’s disturbed glare at her husband that caused him to assault Rock. Similarly, other comedians like Earthquake, as well as several rappers including Kodak Black, took to Instagram to blame Pinkett Smith for her husband’s downfall. Moreover, if you Google her name right now, news of her alleged extramarital affair or topics she has discussed on her Red Table Talk series immediately come to the surface as if they help to explain her husband’s attack on Rock, or justify it. However one feels about Pinkett Smith or her life choices, she did not cause Will Smith to strike Chris Rock. Her husband is a 53-year-old man who made his own choice to charge the Oscars stage and act violently.

The insidious and sometimes not-so-insidious way female blame for criminal male behavior is found in our cultural and societal norms also creeps into our legal system. It is no secret that when you prosecute a rape or sexual assault case it is often the victim, usually female, who stands trial. Her perpetrator and his violent actions are typically lost as her choice of clothes, behavior, substance use, and mental health are all brought to the forefront. Pushed to the sidelines are the rapist and his crime as finding a way to blame the victim seemingly becomes the thrust of the case. Pinkett Smith is now similarly on trial in the court of public opinion, with the theme of “toxic femininity” ever-present. The victim becomes the cause, indeed the fault, of the defendant’s criminal violence.

This focus of “toxic femininity” embroiled in the legal system is not just reserved for criminal cases. In dependency court matters and family law proceedings, it is not atypical that when a mother claims her child alleges sexual abuse by his or her father, again it is often the woman who is vilified. Defense attorneys will often suggest that the mother is attempting parental alienation of the child from their father and that she, the parent attempting to protect against this alleged abuse, should and will be on trial. Questions about the mother’s mental health, background, and presumed attempt to set up the alleged perpetrator become central. As a legal precedent, this has been proven to be an invalid defense, as it is extremely rare that alleged sexual abuse by a child is made up or used by a mother to gain a strategic custodial advantage. However, despite this theory being debunked by the American Psychological Association (APA), American Medical Association (AMA), and the World Health Organization (WHO), courts still consider the defense to punish the victim’s mother for an act of sexual assault by the father. The mother and child are analyzed from every angle, their mental health questioned, their motives examined, and their blame for the allegations scrutinized. Mia Farrow found herself facing parental alienation allegations when her daughter Dylan stated that her father sexually molested her from a very early age. Woody Allen repeatedly denied the accusations and attempted to use the theory of parental alienation against his former partner to suggest she was mentally unsound and vindictive, while completely invalidating Dylan’s account of his molestation of her.

Unfortunately, the catchphrase “toxic femininity” applies not only to the fallout that Pinkett Smith is facing for actions committed solely by her husband, but in a larger context, to the legal system that is presumably designed to ensure justice. Indeed, rape victims, sexual assault victims, and mothers alleging sexual abuse on behalf of their children have been subjected to being found at fault for the criminal actions of male perpetrators. Judges, and attorneys often still “blame her” instead of the defendant sitting in front of them. It’s not, in this case, joke target Pinkett Smith who's at fault; it’s the actor himself. No amount of “blaming her” will change that.