Talking to Young Children About Indian Residential Schools

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Over the past few years, Canada and the US have begun to take seriously the damage that the Indian Residential Schools have inflicted on Indigenous peoples and culture. The intergenerational trauma caused by the forcible wrenching away of children by the state, and the physical, psychological, and sexual abuse that they experienced, is showing up in many forms. Indigenous people today have much shorter lifespans than others; are more likely to be imprisoned, impoverished, murdered, and raped; are more likely to grow up in fractured families; and are more likely to experience violence, substance abuse, chronic illness, and suicide.

Canada has declared an annual National Day for Truth and Reconciliation, and there's also an informal tradition of Orange Shirt Day, recognizing that all children matter, and commemorating those children who died in or while attending Indian Residential Schools. Kids in schools across Canada are beginning to learn about this aspect of our history.

I am not Indigenous, and I have no direct personal connection to the Indian Residential Schools. What I do have is some understanding of how all children develop, and what parents, educators, and others (whether Indigenous or not) can do to support their children’s coping, resilience, and capacity to contribute to a healthier society where Indigenous people can prosper and thrive.

How Should You Talk to Your Young Child About Residential Schools?

While it’s important to teach children about this history and work toward healing and reconciliation in every way possible, it’s also important that this is done thoughtfully, paying attention to the child’s developmental level. You want to give your young child (age 5 to 9) a foundation of knowledge so they can later become part of the reconciliation process. You don't want to exacerbate their fears and insecurities.

1. Start slowly. In the beginning, keep it brief. If you go slowly and pay close attention to your young child’s frame of mind, you’ll know how much information they want and are ready for.
2. Be authentic. Don’t give your child more than they need to know, but don’t lie or sugar-coat the truth, either. Your child is sensitive to evasion and will be reassured by straightforward honesty. It helps them feel more secure in a dangerous world if they feel they can trust you to tell them the truth.
3. Listen closely and reassure. Your child may not be able to articulate what they’re worrying about. For example, if they ask, “Why did residential schools happen?” they’re probably not wondering about the historic circumstances, but rather something closer to home, like “Could this happen today? To me?” A short, honest, and reassuring answer for a young child could be something like, “The residential schools were built by people who didn’t understand or respect different ways of living. Now we know that every child matters, and if anyone tried to take certain kinds of kids away from their families, a lot of people would object and stop them.”
4. Talk about inclusion and respect for diversity. Talk about differences that your child has observed in their own family and community, whether religious, sexual, cultural, racial, or something else. Talk about the importance of inclusion and respect and get them to make connections to their life experience and media exposure.
5. Look for vehicles of creative self-expression. Creative self-expression is one of the best ways a child can process their concerns. Help your child find avenues of creative self-expression, whether through music, painting, writing and producing a play, writing a story, or something else.
6. Think together about ways you and your child can make a difference. On a small scale, your child probably knows someone at school or in your neighborhood who can benefit from kindness and inclusion. On a slightly larger scale, maybe you can ask your child’s teacher about the class doing an art project celebrating the contributions of Indigenous people, or inviting an Indigenous guest speaker to come to the school and share some of their traditions.
7. Wait until your child is older to discuss the context that led to residential schools. Once kids get into middle and high school, they have the cognitive maturity to grasp political context and complexity. Only then does it make sense to bring in some of the more horrifying details, and help them understand their responsibility for moving toward healing and reconciliation.
8. Have faith in your child’s resilience. Even if your child has been traumatized by learning too many of the terrible details of the residential school history too soon, you can support them in feeling empowered to help create a world that is safer, kinder, and more inclusive, a world where every child is loved and valued. Provide as much reassurance as they seem to require.
9. Seek help if necessary. Some children are more deeply affected than others by learning about the Indian Residential Schools. This can be because they’re more sensitive or anxious than others, because of personal situations they’ve experienced, or because friends or family members have perished or been traumatized by residential schools. In such cases, you may need professional help managing your child’s worries. Getting help early can be important to your child’s ongoing mental health.

At What Age Should You Talk to Your Child About Indian Residential Schools?

There are many parallels between the Holocaust and Indian Residential Schools. They are both government-sanctioned examples of racism, genocide, and cultural destruction that dehumanized and segregated certain humans because of their heritage, leaving a terrible intergenerational legacy of destruction.

There hasn’t been as much research done yet on Residential Schools education as on Holocaust education, but from a developmental psychology perspective, the Holocaust research provides some helpful information. There is a general consensus among Holocaust educators that eight is the earliest age to begin teaching about it, although if kids ask about it, no matter their age, it’s time to answer in an age-appropriate way. These guidelines apply to residential schools teaching, too.

It can feel daunting to address your child’s concerns, especially if you know very little about the Indian Residential Schools. Start your own education if necessary, and be calm, patient, and reassuring with your young child.

Note: I’ve focused here on Canadian activities and resources because it’s currently an active area of investigation and concern, but everything I’ve written here also applies to the United States.