If You’re Feeling Lonely, You’re Not the Only One

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Many people today are feeling a sense of isolation, lacking the social connection they desire or long for. And, for many people, this disconnect was exacerbated by the COVID-19 pandemic.

In 2023, U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy published an 82-page advisory raising awareness about loneliness and isolation as a major threat to health and well-being and an urgent public health issue in the United States (Murthy, 2023). According to Murthy, research, even before the pandemic, had shown that half of American adults reported feeling lonely.

In Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation, Murthy calls on people and organizations throughout the United States to respond to the loneliness epidemic:

By taking small steps every day to strengthen our relationships, and by supporting community efforts to rebuild social connection, we can rise to meet this moment together. We can build lives and communities that are healthier and happier.

Social connection has much more impact than we might realize. Higher social connection typically predicts better outcomes, including greater well-being, better physical and mental health, and stronger life satisfaction (Adams, 2023; Murthy, 2023; Holt-Lunstad, 2013). According to research, people who experience a greater sense of connection are less likely to die from chronic diseases (Holt-Lunstad, 2017; 2013).

It’s important to note that the benefits of social connection are not limited to romantic relationships—friendships, which can be developed at any age, and even brief, casual social interactions can strengthen well-being (Adams, 2023; Fredrickson, 2013).

While trends show that social networks are shrinking and measures of average time spent alone are increasing, social connection is shaped on many levels (Murthy, 2023). For example:

• The individual
• Relationships (family, friendships)
• Community (work, school, community organizations, health care, neighborhood, local business, social infrastructures, etc.)
• Societal norms (public policies, norms and values, historical inequities, technology and its use).

In addition, our social connections don’t stay the same. They can shift from childhood to adulthood to older adulthood, with life transitions, illness, relocations, and many other changes. It’s important to recognize, especially when we are feeling lonely, that the experience of loneliness can be transient, and there are ways we can connect with others. And the distress of loneliness can be a strong motivator to reach out to others. If loneliness is chronic and causing difficulties, it can be helpful to consult with professionals as chronic isolation is a risk factor for psychological and physical health (Murthy, 2023).

What can you do to help reduce loneliness and experience more connection?

1. Expanding social relationships beyond your immediate group is linked with well-being and can prevent or reduce loneliness:

• Reaching out to friends and acquaintances by phone, text, email, or in person.
• Meeting or walking with a neighbor or co-worker.
• Developing intergenerational friendships.
• Mentoring or volunteering.
• Interacting with community members, local merchants, neighbors, or passers-by while at the store or other public areas.
• Joining clubs, spiritual or religious organizations, or arts or education groups, or taking classes.
• Participating in community-based networks and centers, park district programs, and local resources.
• Getting active in civic engagement or social action.

2. Accumulating evidence suggests that mindfulness can help reduce the impact of loneliness (Teoh, et al., 2021). Mindfulness skills can help you address the distress and negative emotions that may accompany loneliness. Evidence also indicates that mindfulness can improve the ability to monitor your experience in the present with greater acceptance (Lindsay et al., 2019). See the "References" section below for resources to help you strengthen your mindfulness skills.

3. Lastly, if loneliness, isolation, and related emotions feel like more than you can manage alone, consider reaching out to others. Dr. Murthy recommends reaching out for help during periods of struggle with isolation and loneliness to a family member, trusted friend, health care provider, counselor, therapist, or the 988 crisis line.

If you or someone you love is contemplating suicide, seek help immediately. For help 24/7, dial 988 for the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, or reach out to the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741. To find a therapist near you, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only. No content is a substitute for consulting with a qualified mental health or healthcare professional.

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