Enlightened Living

Grief

Grief’s Dance of Anger

Michael J. Formica EdM, NCC, LPC on April 4, 2024

If we sit with our anger long enough, we discover it's grief, often built up over time, and made up of our small disappointments and larger losses.

If we sit with our anger long enough, we discover it's grief, often built up over time, and made up of our small disappointments and larger losses.

Parenting

Raising Children With Benign Neglect

Michael J. Formica EdM, NCC, LPC on December 3, 2023

The notion of parenting through benign neglect has recently garnered media attention. What we learn is stepping back from helicopter parenting isn't such a bad thing.

The notion of parenting through benign neglect has recently garnered media attention. What we learn is stepping back from helicopter parenting isn't such a bad thing.

Grief

How We Grieve the Loss of Those Who Are Still Here

Michael J. Formica EdM, NCC, LPC on July 22, 2023

Grieving the living is a subtle, ongoing trauma tearing at the continuity of self and relationship, just as water slowly erodes the rock upon which it drips.

Grieving the living is a subtle, ongoing trauma tearing at the continuity of self and relationship, just as water slowly erodes the rock upon which it drips.

Parental Alienation

Why Parental Alienation Is a Form of Domestic Abuse

Michael J. Formica EdM, NCC, LPC on August 6, 2022

Parental alienation is a manufactured manipulation that impacts everyone, from the nuclear to the extended family.

Parental alienation is a manufactured manipulation that impacts everyone, from the nuclear to the extended family.

Grief

Grieving for an Emotionally Estranged Parent

Michael J. Formica EdM, NCC, LPC on December 6, 2021

No one person’s experience of grief is the same as another’s, particularly should we find ourselves grieving an emotionally estranged parent.

No one person’s experience of grief is the same as another’s, particularly should we find ourselves grieving an emotionally estranged parent.

Relationships

Love as Daily Practice

Michael J. Formica EdM, NCC, LPC on February 16, 2021

Feeling love is not as easy as loving yourself. You are deserving of love as you are and allowing someone to love you can help you practice love toward yourself.

Feeling love is not as easy as loving yourself. You are deserving of love as you are and allowing someone to love you can help you practice love toward yourself.

Cognition

Mechanisms of Misinformation

Michael J. Formica EdM, NCC, LPC on January 13, 2021

When a concept, idea, or belief is fed by lean, rather than critical, thinking we become bearers of falsehoods underlying a culture of misinformation.

When a concept, idea, or belief is fed by lean, rather than critical, thinking we become bearers of falsehoods underlying a culture of misinformation.

Neuroplasticity

Age Shaming, Failed Foresight and the Pandemic

Michael J. Formica EdM, NCC, LPC on August 29, 2020

Kids aren’t foolish or stupid—they just can’t see outcomes.

Kids aren’t foolish or stupid—they just can’t see outcomes.

Suicide

Increased Suicidality in the Face of the Pandemic

Michael J. Formica EdM, NCC, LPC on August 17, 2020

Suicidality, at its core, is a failure to see options. It is a cloying sense that "there is nothing more to do." But more pointedly: "There is nothing more I can do."

Suicidality, at its core, is a failure to see options. It is a cloying sense that "there is nothing more to do." But more pointedly: "There is nothing more I can do."

Grief

Social Distancing: What You’re Feeling Is Grief

Michael J. Formica EdM, NCC, LPC on March 30, 2020

While we are living in the Age of Anxiety and may be standing on the precipice of the Next Great Depression, we are, more poignantly, in the midst of the Great Grieving.

While we are living in the Age of Anxiety and may be standing on the precipice of the Next Great Depression, we are, more poignantly, in the midst of the Great Grieving.

Bias

An Observation of Ignorance, Racism and Social Divisiveness

Michael J. Formica EdM, NCC, LPC on January 10, 2020

Misplaced aggression is about power and control and at the heart of our current climate of social divisiveness.

Misplaced aggression is about power and control and at the heart of our current climate of social divisiveness.

Perfectionism

When Therapy Makes Things Worse, Pt. 2

Michael J. Formica EdM, NCC, LPC on September 10, 2019

Surfacing our demons, digging deep into our neuroses, exploring our habit patterns, and challenging our belief systems comes at a cost.

Surfacing our demons, digging deep into our neuroses, exploring our habit patterns, and challenging our belief systems comes at a cost.

Spirituality

When Therapy Makes Things Worse, Pt. 1

Michael J. Formica EdM, NCC, LPC on March 25, 2019

Therapy is a place where we learn to be uncomfortable with ourselves, so we can, ultimately, become more comfortable with who we are and our place in the world.

Therapy is a place where we learn to be uncomfortable with ourselves, so we can, ultimately, become more comfortable with who we are and our place in the world.

Relationships

The Neurotic Complement in Relationships

Michael J. Formica EdM, NCC, LPC on January 12, 2019

Most of us are familiar with the old saw about partnering with your parent, but that's not the whole story.

Most of us are familiar with the old saw about partnering with your parent, but that's not the whole story.

Loneliness

The Loneliest Time of the Year

Michael J. Formica EdM, NCC, LPC on December 26, 2018

The winter holiday experience for many of us can feel much like George Bailey in the throes of a life without himself.

The winter holiday experience for many of us can feel much like George Bailey in the throes of a life without himself.

Caregiving

Is Your Healthy Enabling Disabling?

Michael J. Formica EdM, NCC, LPC on September 24, 2018

Enabling typically gets a bad rap, because it’s typically associated with self-destructive behavior. Healthy enabling is, in fact, part of any sound interpersonal relationship.

Enabling typically gets a bad rap, because it’s typically associated with self-destructive behavior. Healthy enabling is, in fact, part of any sound interpersonal relationship.

Relationships

Is There a Digital Divide in Your Relationship?

Michael J. Formica EdM, NCC, LPC on May 14, 2018

It’s no secret that our obsessional attachment to our devices can cause friction and provoke conflict in our relationships. What's the meaning behind not being present?

It’s no secret that our obsessional attachment to our devices can cause friction and provoke conflict in our relationships. What's the meaning behind not being present?

Parenting

Helicopter Parenting is Good Parenting

Michael J. Formica EdM, NCC, LPC on March 11, 2018

Backing away from the helicopter parent dynamic and giving kids the gift of failure can help build healthy self-esteem and a sense of personal value they otherwise don't develop.

Backing away from the helicopter parent dynamic and giving kids the gift of failure can help build healthy self-esteem and a sense of personal value they otherwise don't develop.

Emotional Intelligence

Self-Sabotaging Emotional Intelligence

Michael J. Formica EdM, NCC, LPC on November 9, 2017

When looking for the negative becomes married to poor self-perception or negative self-talk, it creates a cascade of emotions, dragging us down a rabbit hole of our own making.

When looking for the negative becomes married to poor self-perception or negative self-talk, it creates a cascade of emotions, dragging us down a rabbit hole of our own making.

Relationships

The Yoga of Relationship

Michael J. Formica EdM, NCC, LPC on September 5, 2017

Conscious relationship is not something we engage in by default. More often than not, we fall into—and accept—relationships of convenience.

Conscious relationship is not something we engage in by default. More often than not, we fall into—and accept—relationships of convenience.