Future You Unleashed: Self-Tune for a Bold Tomorrow

Source: Nathan Dumlao / Unsplash

When you think of yourself five years from now, what do you see? How is this future version of you the same as you are right now? How are they different? What does their life look like?

If you’re like most people, you likely saw your future self as a completely different person than who you are right now. When you looked for similarities and differences in this version of yourself, it might have even felt the same as comparing yourself with a stranger on the bus. While this is typical for most of us, it’s not helpful.

Research shows when we don’t identify with our future selves, we end up putting in minimal effort to do things that are good for us in the long term (Hershfield 2011). In contrast, the more we identify with our future self, the more we’ll do things in our present life that will benefit us later. Basically, if my future self is someone I can truly see myself becoming or if she has a life that resembles one I genuinely desire, I’m going to make choices today that will help make that future a reality.

Feelings and the Future

As humans, we’re not very good at projecting our thoughts and feelings onto our future selves (Loewenstein and O’Donoghue 2002, as cited in Hershfield 2011). We overestimate how good we’ll feel about a positive outcome and how bad we’ll feel about a negative one (Gilbert et al. 1998, as cited in Hershfield 2011). For example, we think getting a future promotion will bring joy and happiness, and not getting it will lead to humiliation and sadness. The reality, however, is that we go on to experience happiness and sadness no matter what happens with the promotion. When we’re considering our future, we fail to think about all the other events and relationships in our lives that will affect how we feel. Instead, we think this promotion will be the sole source of our emotions.

This isn’t always a bad thing, though. Sometimes, thinking of the positive impact a goal will have on our future can be motivating. If I think that this promotion will give me more financial freedom and improve my living situation, I’ll push myself harder to prove myself to my supervisor. I might speak up more in meetings, schedule a one-on-one to discuss my interest in the promotion, and put in more effort on current projects. Focusing on the positive outcome this promotion will have on my life is helpful here.

On the flip side, if I think that not getting the promotion will ruin everything at work and that I won’t be able to show my face there ever again, I’ll likely feel anxious. I might not want to show others how much I want it, so I’ll continue as I’ve been—putting in the same effort on projects, sitting quietly in meetings, and not mentioning how much it means to me when speaking with my supervisor. Thinking about the negative impact of not getting the promotion is holding me back.

The Future Is Now

The more you connect with your future self, the more motivated you’ll feel to do the very things that will make your future happen. In contrast, the more your future self feels like a stranger, the less motivation you’ll have to do what will benefit you down the road.

To connect with your future self, there are things you can do:

1. Think of what your future self will enjoy and value.

Research shows that when we relate to others’ beliefs, likes, and values, we tend to have more empathy and engage in more helpful ways toward them (Eisenberg and Miller 1987, as cited in Hershfield 2011). We can apply this knowledge to our future selves to push ourselves to do what’s best for them. When considering your future self, don’t just think about things they’ll have or achieve. Also think about what they like, value, and believe. Give some flesh to your future self so you relate and care about them.

2. Take time to envision yourself living the future you desire, and get as detailed as possible.

Don’t just dream of yourself living in a New York City apartment; imagine the art on the walls, the layout of your rooms, and the views out the windows. Think of who will live with you, and watch yourself move through the apartment as you get ready for the day. Feeling intense emotions or desire for a situation leads to us making better decisions in our present.

3. Make sure you view your future self positively.

Having a positive view of our future selves helps us make better choices in the long term. For example, when people view getting older positively, they tend to have better health outcomes (Levy et al. 2009, as cited in Hershfield 2011). Think of your future self as an incredible person who’s capable of great things. Think of them as a person you’ll be proud to become.

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I guide my clients through a future self visualization frequently to help them create a version they relate to and to help build a connection with their future selves. It helps with goal-setting and motivation while increasing feelings of optimism. You can do this on your own by journaling each day about your future self. Set aside 10 minutes to write about yourself in the future (it can be a different point in the future each time). Write about what your future self likes, values, and believes. Write about their day, where they live, and who they live with.

Make sure you’re writing about a positive experience and really spend time on the details—focus on routines, health, relationships, and hobbies. Have fun with it! With time, you’ll find that spending time thinking about your future self helps with your present life.