Are You Your Own Worst Enemy When It Comes to Food?

I was talking with a client with other day about how she was doing with her Inner Food Critic. She happily informed me that she's stopped hearing what had been almost constant negative internal chatter saying things like, "You look so fat in that," or "You shouldn't eat that." Before I could even congratulate her on her progress, she explained that she has been experiencing more self-doubt around her ability to maintain a healthy diet. That, I told her, is just her inner food critic in another form.

Although I call this internal chatter the Inner Food Critic, he or she doesn’t necessarily have to be outwardly critical of you. In fact, criticism is usually not her motive, regardless of how she shows up. It’s fear. So if she’s been making you doubt yourself, not trust in your decisions, or is keeping you up at night with anxiety or depression about your food choices (or life in general), that’s still your Inner Critic.

So if she’s not always mean or critical, who is this Inner Critic?

Source: Dollar Photo, used with permission

See if any of these sound familiar:

• Comparison Queen Carla – she takes keeping up with the Jones’ literally. She compares herself – her food choices, her appearance, her weight, etc. – to everyone else and when she feels she’s lacking she dives head first into self-improvement. New diet? She's on it. She waits for the magazines to hit the newsstand every month so she can try the latest fitness plan.
• Nit Picking Nancy – Nancy is the Queen of nit-picking – any perceived flaw (on herself or someone else) sends her reeling and doing something about it. It might be a perceived physical flaw that sends her into a frantic 'self-improvement session' (e.g., popping zits, plucking her eye brows). Or those same perceived flaws might send her into an emotional panic where she judges and criticizes herself and everyone else.
• Control Freak Cathy – As a Control Freak Cathy, you’ve got overachiever tattooed on your forehead. You never seem to have time to get everything done on your to-do list because things keep cropping up at work or at home to get in the way of your ideal life and success. As a result, you may turn to food as a coping mechanism or 'forget' to eat.
• As a Perfectionist Polly, you’ve got it all. You exude confidence, always look put together, and everything seems to come easily and effortlessly to you. Unfortunately, looks can be deceiving. While you may ‘have it all’ on the outside, on the inside, you’re wilting. Why? You never feel "good enough" and are constantly striving to reach your super high standards when it comes to diet, exercise, appearance, etc.
• You know a Negative Nelly when you hear her speak. Every word out of her mouth is a criticism – of herself or others. I look fat in these. I’m so stupid. Can you believe she’s wearing that? You’re going to regret eating that!
• Blaming Betty blames herself for everything – whether she had anything to do with it or not. Betty is the ultimate inner mean girl in some ways because all of the blaming is directed inward. If you are constantly saying things to yourself like, “Why did you do that?” or “I can’t believe I did that?” or “What were you thinking?” you might be a Blaming Betty. Like Control Freak Cathy, Blaming Betty often "copes" with her perceived failures by using food as a coping mechanism or restricting food intake as a way to punish herself.
• Do-Gooder Daisy – The key word here is “DO.” Daisy doesn’t know the meaning of the word rest. She’s out to prove herself by doing everything she can. So if you’re a Do-gooder Daisy, she probably won’t let you rest or sit still. Why are you wasting time? Think of all the things you could be do-ing! Do-gooder Daisy is so busy, though, that she tends to eat mindlessly or not at all.
• Self-Doubting Susan – Susan riddled with self-doubt, which makes her very indecisive. When she does do something, the doubts immediately come in. She may ruminate for days over what might seem like a small decision to someone else. This makes nutrition and exercise choices a nightmare because Susan is always second guessing whether she should or shouldn't have eaten something.
• Over-reacting Ophelia – Poor Ophelia takes everything personally. Every time someone says something that might be constructed as a criticism, she takes to heart. Every time things don’t go her way, she feels like she failed. She doesn’t realize that her boss is just having a bad day and that Ophelia did nothing to upset her boss. Like Blaming Betty, she often turns to food as a coping mechanism as a way to deal with her perceived failures.

So what do you do if one (or more) of these rings true for you? It's time to take your power back from your inner critic. 1) figure out where these beliefs came from, and 2) figure out if they still serve you. Often our beliefs date back to childhood and while being a "Do-gooder" might have pleased your parents, it may be turning you into a mindless eater as an adult.

If you need more help, I invite you to sign up for my free call series on healing your relationship with food, your body, and yourself. You can sign up here.