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Key points
- First names become our personal face to the world.
- In some social situations, first names are only reserved for family, friends, and peers.
- Immigrants may decide to change their names to assimilate quickly and reduce the risk of ridicule.
What's in a name? Naming seems so simple at first glance with its fundamental intent. We are assigned a name at birth, which we may or may not keep for most of our lives but present outwardly as our identification to the world. But that identification can be imbued with many complex meanings about our identity and how others view it. First names and surnames can also take on different dimensions.
First names become our personal face to the world and, in some social situations, are only reserved for family, friends, and peers. First names are freely chosen, yet many first names are part of a common, oft-repeated set in each country and culture, sometimes with deep and old historical roots, such as names from religious or mythological texts. Some even become trendy and popular for several years or are associated with a particular era. Others are deliberately unusual or quirky or are deemed that way because they accompany one’s move to a new country.
Gender also weaves into these names and how they may need to adapt or shift when one’s gender identity comes into their own and becomes an important matter of individual choice. Some names become adapted into casual nicknames as diminutive versions of the original or completely different ones altogether. Overall, the intentions behind first names can vary greatly between familiarity and individuality.
Surnames are not traditionally as prone to free choice, being family names that are often transferred for generations, typically patrilineal but not always. These names can also reflect cultural and historical situations, from adoption to slavery to colonization. Questions of personal identity can be fraught when deciding whether to keep or change a name, especially a surname, representing a positive or negative transmitted legacy.
Women in certain countries or in recent times have decided not to change their surnames when they get married, especially with the onset of professional identities for working women, or sometimes just as a matter of traditional custom (as in Korea or several Islamic countries). Also, long hyphenations of surnames have occurred based on intermarrying of aristocratic lineages and nowadays as another choice for women who want to keep both maiden and married names; sometimes, men agree to do so for themselves or their children.
Children may change their last names depending on relationships with their parents (good or bad) or to honor someone or some meaningful heritage. And other times in history, names have been forcibly changed or added to reflect invasive dominance by slavery, colonization, or imposed laws.
Some decide to change both names altogether, seeking aliases for everything from pen names for books to stage names for Hollywood to new identities for people going into hiding or deciding to reinvent themselves altogether. Some are even bold enough to go for singular iconic names for their persona, like Madonna or Prince.
One particular situation of concern is when immigrants come to another country and often must decide what names to give themselves and their children. Due to the dominance of European (especially English) names in the last 400 years in the United States, some names are considered “foreign” in comparison.
Asian languages and names sometimes seem particularly difficult to pronounce or spell for native English speakers; these families often make a fateful decision as to whether to switch to anglicized names or keep their original ones while risking potential awkwardness and even ridicule. Sometimes children feel forced to change the names they have grown up with to adapt, which can feel like being compelled to shed or reject their core identity. Others willingly change their names to accelerate feeling assimilated into their new culture and avoid conflict or discomfort, even frank teasing.
Forming a secure sense of self, especially during childhood and adolescence, is key to a person’s well-being and confidence; many people take it for granted that cultural displacement can be difficult, even traumatic, for anyone moving into a new country. Renaming oneself (or not renaming, yet newly being deemed “unusual”) crystallizes that identity alteration for better or worse. It’s important to remember to put yourself in another person’s shoes and empathize with the particular experiences each name can bring.
Accordingly, it’s important for people to step back and reflect on something that seems so simple and automatic on the surface but can truly affect how people view and treat one another. Some simple education and attention to respecting each person’s name, showing a polite willingness to learn and pronounce each name and where it comes from (without calling too much attention to it), can go a long way towards helping each person feel accepted. It can help everyone feel harmonious in their differences, not marginalized or mocked.
