How to Get Back to Exercising

During this year of COVID, some people I know actually learned to play bridge, went through all their closets, started a running regime, and got into great shape. But for most of us, this has been a year of watching a lot of Netflix, eating too many chocolate chip cookies, and giving up on exercise. A lot of us are thinking about…planning…imagining…possibly getting back to exercising. But for many—well, it’s just not that easy. We start with good intentions, we keep to our exercise plan for a few days or weeks, but then we stop. The self-defeating thoughts kick in, we think it’s hopeless, feel like a failure, give up, and slip back into our no-exercise mode.

Anyone who exercises regularly knows that the issue is not whether you will lapse; everyone does. It's how to keep trying — or how to build resilience. Following are three tested strategies that will help you build your resilience and turn the try-fail-give up pattern into a try-fail-try again-do better pattern.

1. Be kind to yourself. COVID has been extremely difficult; just getting through the year has been an accomplishment. Don’t expect to go from no exercise to picking up a regular exercise regime. Expect to try, exercise for a bit, find it hard, and want to stop. This is normal. The question is how to turn the “want to stop” or even “stop” into “try again.” The data is really clear: the kinder you are to yourself, and the more you accept that it is normal to fail, the more likely you are to keep trying. Remember, if you exercise at all, give yourself a pat on the back – don’t just feel good when you are perfect.

Remember: Failing is normal—strength is trying again

2. Be clear on your motivation. It is hard to start exercising. The benefits of sitting on the couch are clear: It is easy and comfortable. Ask yourself what the benefits of exercising are to you. Not why exercise is good; why you want to exercise. How does exercising fit into your values? Think about both short-term and long-term benefits. Write them down.

Remember: Ask yourself, “Why is exercising important to me?”

3. Make a plan. You need an effective plan, not just a general “I’m going to start exercising” plan. Ask yourself these four questions to check if you have an effective plan:

1. Is my plan doable?
2. Is my plan specific and concrete?
3. Do I expect to enjoy it (at least a little)?
4. Can it be part of my routine?

Let’s look at these questions in more detail:

• Is my plan doable? Is your plan realistic given your current level of fitness, time, and motivation? Aim to start small—you will more likely be successful.
• Is it specific and concrete? Is there a specific exercise you will do, at a specific time, for a specific amount of time?
• Do I expect to enjoy it (at least a little)? You don’t have to love your exercise regime—not all of us do—but try to pick something you at least don’t hate doing. When exercising, notice anything you like about it.
• Can it be part of my routine? Exercise that can be part of your daily or weekly routine is more likely to happen. So think about ways to build it into your routine. Can you walk to work? Do some stretches over lunchtime?

Let me give you an example: My client Ron decided he would try to walk 20 minutes a day (that amount felt doable), and he wanted to walk at lunchtime three times a week (a specific and concrete plan). Ron wasn’t that sure he would enjoy the walk. We brainstormed how he could make it more enjoyable, and he decided he would see if a colleague would come with him. If he was walking alone, he would listen to music and afterward would tell his colleagues that he had walked; he thought that telling people about his accomplishment would make him feel good about himself.

Remember: Make an effective plan.

Source: Dalia Ahmed, used with permission

Strategy 1 + 2 + 3 = Resilience. Resilience—the ability to recover from or adjust to obstacles—is a key ingredient in the success of any plan. And resilience doesn’t just happen; it is a state of mind. We can practice being resilient; the more we practice, the easier and more natural it becomes. So what does this entail? First, expect to encounter obstacles. Ask yourself what could get in the way of your plan, and how could you handle it. Second, expect to find it hard and to not always keep to your plan. This doesn’t mean you don’t keep trying. Remember your motivation for exercising (Strategy 2). If you don’t follow through on your plan, this just means you need to make another plan. Check if your plan met the guidelines from Strategy 3 (was it doable, specific and concrete, potentially enjoyable, and part of a routine?). Third, give yourself a pat on the back for wanting to exercise and making a plan, and notice anything you did that got you closer to exercising. Did you think about why exercise is important to you? Good start. Did you make a plan? Good start. Did you exercise once? Good start.

It is hard to keep trying; it takes courage, grit, and strength.

Remember: Keep trying; it is important.