When It's Time to Bail: 12 Steps to Leave a Semester

This post is about how to help your college student withdraw from a semester. It's a significant decision that requires careful consideration and the right steps to navigate the process smoothly. There’s often a load of fear of missing out socially and the negative impacts on GPA and timeline for graduating. I’m going over some basics every university mandates as well as some practical recommendations on wrapping things up at school and planning for as good a transition back to home as possible.

Withdrawing may seem pretty far detached from mental health topics I typically cover, but it’s actually one of the most discussed concerns from parents when they first contact me. Should we bring our son/daughter home? When is the right time to bail on a semester? Are we making things worse or better? Should they decide or should we? The reality is, there is no absolute way of knowing the perfect time to hit pause on school. Here’s my list of essential steps for moving through the process.

Step 1: Should They Really Leave? How to Decide

• Before you all make any decisions, take the time to reflect on why they're considering withdrawal. Are there personal or academic challenges they're facing? Consider alternatives and weigh the pros and cons. Have they fully accessed all of the school’s resources like counseling and psychological services (CAPS), disability services, tutoring, etc.?
• Are they being 100 percent transparent about what’s motivating their interest in leaving? Sometimes, students are struggling with an eating disorder, substance use, overwhelming social issues, or significant academic struggles but haven’t been candid about them.

Step 2: Review College Policies

• Familiarize yourself with your college's withdrawal policies. Every institution has its own set of procedures and deadlines. You can usually find this information in the college handbook or on the official website.

Step 3: Meet With the Academic Advisor

• Make sure your student meets with their academic advisor. They're there to guide them through academic decisions. It’s a good time for them to discuss their concerns, and they can provide insights into how withdrawal might impact their academic standing.
• It’s also a good idea to have your student understand what would be required to return back to school or transfer to another school. Academic advisors can provide guidance on the re-enrollment process or transferring credits to another institution.

Step 4: Meet With the Financial Aid Office

• If they're receiving financial aid, they need to meet with the financial aid office. Understand the implications of withdrawal on their financial aid package and inquire about any repayment requirements.
• Though schools will not proactively include you, it’s essential that parents are kept informed about the impact of withdrawing on financial aid and all other financial obligations or implications.

Step 5: Meet With CAPS, Disability Services, or Student Services

• Many colleges offer counseling or student services to support students facing challenges. I think it’s imperative that your student schedule a meeting to discuss their decision and explore resources that might help them navigate their current situation. After talking with a counselor/therapist, they might feel a sense of relief and optimism leading them to work through their current challenges.
• If the university support is not helpful enough, setting up a meeting with a local therapist or academic coach near campus can provide a safe place to process their thoughts/feelings and choices.

Step 6: Complete the Withdrawal Forms

• If they've made the decision to withdraw, they’ll need to obtain the necessary withdrawal forms from the registrar's office or online student portal. Follow the instructions carefully and provide any required documentation.
• Make sure to have your student get in writing that all the required forms have been submitted and what the next steps are.

Step 7: Submit Forms Within Deadlines

• Ensure that your student submits the withdrawal forms within the specified deadlines. Missing deadlines has consequences, including academic penalties or financial obligations. They may also be shackled to grades for classes they thought they had withdrawn from.

Step 8: Discuss Housing and Meal Plans

• If they live on campus or have a meal plan, work with student services and billing to address housing and meal plan arrangements. Understand any related financial implications and don’t assume the school will run after you to help. It’s unlikely, but there may be a possibility of a partial refund.

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Step 9: Communicate With Professors

• Students need to inform their professors about their decision as soon as possible. Discuss any outstanding assignments or exams, and ask about taking incompletes. This is also an opportunity to take responsibility for a messy, uncomfortable, but necessary transition. Avoiding this communication will only make the situation worse—short and long term.

Step 10: Follow-Up on Administrative Steps

• Confirm that all administrative steps related to withdrawal are completed. This may include returning books, settling outstanding fees, and any other requirements outlined by the college.
• Make a checklist for withdrawal. This ensures that every little and big to-do list item is completed—there are more than students think.

Step 11: Actually Leaving

• When are they actually leaving? Making sure that all in-person obligations are completed is a good thing to check on. They might also need a day or two to hang out with friends and just have some space without classes before they hit the road.
• They’ll also need to figure out what to do with all their stuff—storage unit, loading up a car?
• How are they getting back home? Is there an academic break coming up that is more of a natural time to leave?

Step 12: Plan for the Remainder of the Semester

• Once the school side of withdrawing is taken care of, it’s time to sketch out the rest of the semester. It’s essential for parents to work with their college students to create a bit of a plan for when they get home. Depending on the circumstances of why they withdrew from school, I recommend having a daily schedule, wake-up time, and responsibilities the day after they get home. Resentment can develop quickly when kids come home and disappear into their room until late each day only emerging for food.
• I also recommend having them meet with a therapist. Even if there weren’t mental health concerns that led to the withdrawal, having someone to meet with regularly to process thoughts/feelings and opportunities for the next few weeks/months can mean the difference between stabilizing a challenging situation and further decompensation leading to more severe mental health and behavior.

Withdrawing from a semester is a significant decision. It's crucial to follow the guidelines provided by your child’s institution. Seeking support from academic advisors, counseling services, and financial aid offices can help them make an informed decision and navigate the withdrawal process more effectively without permanently closing any doors.