Why You Need to Get to Know Your Shadow Self

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” –Carl Jung

I've been hearing a lot about "shadow work" recently. It has a rather sexy, dark ring to it, doesn't it? But what is shadow work, exactly? And why do we need it?

The Shadow

Carl Jung first coined the term shadow to describe the aspects of our psyches that have been relegated to the unconscious. These are psychological "blind spots." Often, the shadow is made up of personally and culturally unacceptable qualities we want nothing to do with, and which we use various psychological strategies to avoid acknowledging (e.g., projection, sublimation, and repression). For example, if, as children, we were met with disgust or rejection when we cried or acted "too needy," we may have learned to strive to be independent, undemanding, and emotionally controlled.

This all sounds a lot like adaptive behavior learned to survive in our early environments, right? Like a trauma response? Or an attachment style? Yes, the concept of shadow captures all of these, though it encompasses aspects of ourselves buried even deeper within our personalities. In our example scenario, we aren't simply tamping down emotions or hiding signs of neediness; we are exiling them from our conscious awareness. We come to believe they aren't a part of us at all. We build a narrative about ourselves that is the opposite of needy and emotional: we are independent, unemotional, or maybe just easygoing. This becomes our personality, our ego, our persona. And we believe this narrative with all of our conscious awareness.

Recognizing Shadow Material

If we remain ignorant to our shadow material, we will find small leaks of it in our lives. This is because the qualities we have rejected don't disappear, they just lay in wait. They begin to influence us in indirect ways, through our unconscious. Typically, we only recognize them when their leakage causes enough damage to our lives that we can no longer ignore them. For example, if we are unwilling to acknowledge our emotions and needs, we are likely to find ourselves resentful of our partners and our unsatisfying relationships. An unmet (and unacknowledged) desire to be affirmed and understood emotionally could predictably lead to a host of difficulties, including depression, infidelity, and substance use.

Often, when we finally recognize shadow material, we cringe. We feel embarrassment both for possessing the qualities we reject and for our failure to see that they were always there. But such recognition is essential. We must bring what's hiding in the unconscious out into conscious awareness, where we can welcome it and work with it. The goal is to harness the power of both; that's where the magic happens!

Joseph Lee, a Jungian analyst who is one of the hosts of This Jungian Life Podcast, said of the shadow:

Shadow is a veil behind which resides a darkly splendid world of unrestrained instinct, fantasy, and drive.... yielding to it might create a kind of ecstasy of relief and or a dismemberment of who we thought that we should be... shadow is full of life a raw life that fuels individuation if held in the right way.

Failure to acknowledge our shadow material—whether it be selfishness, aggression, envy, pettiness, etc.—leads us to attribute these qualities to others (this is known as projection). When this occurs on a larger scale, such as when we collectively project hostility or inferiority onto a group of people, the potential for persecution, cruelty, and conflict increases. Jung therefore cautioned that we must all strive to confront our personal shadows in order to work toward the collective capacity to take responsibility for and harness our collective shadows in the service of societal peace and progress.

Drawing Out the Shadow

Shadow material must be drawn out skillfully. This can be extremely challenging. But there are some strategies that have been shown to help us begin the process of connecting to our shadows:

• Notice what triggers you. People, behaviors, and personality characteristics in others that elicit strong negative emotions in you are clues that shadow material may be afoot. Pay attention to what's triggering your big feelings and consider what information those feelings contain.
• Keep a dream journal. Dreams and fantasies offer information about themes and conflicts present in the unconscious. Begin to write down your dreams and look for themes or motifs that recur. If you don't remember your dreams, allow yourself time to daydream and journal about that. What desires and conflicts are peeking out from below your conscious awareness?
• Make art. Drawing, painting, writing, music, or any activity that enables you to trust and follow your instincts is going to help you connect with the more intuitive, less ego-driven, aspects of your psyche. Just start and see what happens without trying to control the outcome. Avoid striving to create something impressive. Let the unconscious show itself to you by showing up consistently and bringing a mindset of acceptance and curiosity.
• Meditate. When we sit with quiet attention, we learn about some of the natural habits and abilities of our minds. We also tune out the external chatter and make space for what emerges naturally from within. I recommend a daily meditation practice for everyone.
• Use active imagination. Active Imagination is a process developed by Carl Jung to work with unconscious material.
• Work with a therapist or Jungian analyst. Working with a therapist who understands shadow work is the best way to help you uncover what your brain is keeping hidden from you. You're likely to make progress more quickly and safely than if you undertake this work on your own.

None of us can fully examine the layers of our unconscious mind. But we can benefit tremendously from creating space for the shadow to make itself known to us, and honoring its contribution to our wholeness as humans. Doing so creates the potential for both personal and societal growth.

To find a therapist, please visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.