Verified by 
Key points
- Feeling "cracked" refers to a sense that we have broken a norm or expectation.
- Feeling "cracked" may lead us to either embrace negative self-talk or avoid aspects of our experience.
- We may embrace feeling "cracked" as the beginning of a process of growth and development.
What does it mean to feel "cracked?" Feeling cracked can be understood as a sense that we have somehow deviated from a norm or traditional expectation. There is something about us — perhaps the way we look, act, think, feel, or the experiences we've had — that makes us different. Unfortunately, we often see feeling cracked as a sign that we are somehow damaged and therefore not whole. And as a result, we may not only feel less capable of feeling good and achieving what we want in the world but also struggle to connect with others who are not so cracked.
Further, in an effort to soothe the pain of feeling cracked, we may ignore, suppress or avoid our feelings. This may provide us temporary relief, but it may also make us less likely to learn how to cope with these feelings. Thus, the cycle of judging ourselves and avoiding the resulting painful emotions may leave us feeling even more "cracked."
To better understand the concept of feeling cracked, and how we may be able to cope with this feeling, I spoke with Sydney and Noah Sierota from the band Echosmith. The notion of feeling cracked is a recurrent theme in their music, including in the 2020 song “Cracked” and their new single “Sour.” During our conversation about their new self-titled album, it became clear that Sydney and Noah view feeling cracked not as a painful final emotional destination, but rather an entry point into an ongoing process of self-exploration and growth that is deeply rooted in their sense of faith.
One of the first things I noticed in the discussion with Sydney and Noah was that they both felt it was important that we recognize rather than avoid when we feel cracked. “I think we all kind of have that desire in our heart and our soul to feel complete and to feel wholeness and feel healthy," Sydney told me. “But something that I've been really compelled to think about and also talk about with our music is, yes, I am cracked. And yes, I do have these really tangible struggles in my life … I do believe that I can have healing and I can … see progress in this area in my life.”
Noah suggested that if we ignore when we feel cracked, we build our emotional life on a shaky foundation. “Cracks in our lives, cracks in our souls, cracks in our human experiences … we need to take time to consider what those are and where they come from,” Noah explained. “We can either build that and treat that as our foundation and say, ‘Okay, and I have cracks, I'm building on it.’ And eventually we're going to fall apart because we're not actually looking at the issues we might have unresolved in our own hearts and spirits."
One of the reasons why it is important to recognize when we feel cracked is that we can then begin the process of discovering constructive solutions for our issues. For example, Sydney recounted how her struggle with anxiety made her feel cracked. But by being open to exploring her feelings, she realized that her anxiety was in part a signal that she needed to engage in self-care. “I have been struggling with anxiety for the past several years. And it wasn't something that I thought I had ever dealt with,” Sydney said. “But as I started to dive into all of that, and go to therapy … it's turning out to be related to my stress … where I'm realizing that my body's telling me, 'Hey, you need to slow down and you need to do some of these practices that you've learned, in order to feel better throughout the day.'”
While the process of looking at how we feel cracked can be helpful in our growth and development, it can also be very stressful. Sydney explains how it is often difficult to balance examining the ways she feels cracked and still feeling positive and optimistic. “I also struggle with seeing those cracks a little too often. Because again, you don't want to ignore it," Sydney described. "But you also don't want to make that who you are, and identify with it too much ... I used to be so bright eyed all the time … I sort of struggle with where I'm … disappointed in myself for not being that same girl who just had the best perspective.”
One of the main ways that Sydney and Noah describe finding balance as they explore feeling cracked in their lives is through their faith. They experience their connection to God as a constant that provides them the foundation to more deeply look at the ways they feel cracked without necessarily being overwhelmed by the process.
Sydney described how her faith helps her cope with professional anxiety. “For me, it is my faith and my relationship with God. That is what makes me feel grounded. And that is what makes me feel like I have a stronger foundation,” Sydney said. “Because we are so much more than what we do. And if this all goes away tomorrow, and I don't know how to sing anymore, and I lose my voice, am I not a person anymore? No, I think we all matter no matter what we're doing ... And when you have disappointments in any of those areas, where am I finding my foundation? And for me, it really is my faith … I think that we get to feel that step into faith every single day ... I think that's how we have to see life, whether it's our relationships, or even the day itself. Seeing it as a gift and doing what we can with it and stepping forward into that ... 'Okay, God, what did you give me today?'"
Noah explained that while he and Sydney ground their process of exploring feeling cracked in their faith, even people who are not religious can find a similar path. He sees art as one way to examine one's own experience. “Art itself is self reflective … We get to sit down and look at those cracks … We all can look at what are we given today,” Noah described. “So I think we're all artists, we're all making art out of something. We're all religious in some way ... We're all devoting ourselves to things, we're all giving time to things, we're looking for rhythms or patterns to lead us or give us peace ... Like taking that time to self reflect and share our story, share our cracks.”
One of the keys to Sydney and Noah's faith-based approach to understanding feeling cracked is that it is an ongoing process. It is not simply something we figure out once and then "move on" from. These feelings can emerge and take shape in many forms over our lives. And that is why Sydney thinks it is critical that we give ourself the grace and kindness as we confront our feeling cracked. “And I'm a work in progress like we all are. And you have some days where you feel and you can see a lot of your progress tangibly. And then you have days where you feel like you're regressing, but that also is just life, I think, you know, because things ebb and flow, and there's a season for everything,” Sydney explained. “But I think that actually, you know, it's good to be growing and moving forward and doing what you can by giving yourself grace in the meantime.”
Sydney and Noah look forward to using their music as a vehicle for the process of exploring and coping with their feeling cracked. And hopefully using it as a vehicle to connect with and help others who also feel cracked.
“I think that songwriting is one of the most tangible ways we're able to see how something dark or scary or painful can turn into something beautiful ... even if the song doesn't have a happy, perfect ending. Because that's not ... always how life goes. Oftentimes, it's not how it goes. But it still can show you how something dark and hard can become something beautiful because it affects somebody in a town maybe thousands of miles away from you, in a positive way. Even if it's just letting them know that they're not the only person who's ever felt that way,” Sydney said.
“When someone is honest about their struggles … they're able to see that they are not the only person who's ever been there. And I think that is beautiful. So you know, there's a reason we all listen to music all the time … And every song, whether Echosmith wrote it or someone else wrote it — it can be an opportunity to see how beauty can come from the cracks that we all have.”
Listen to the full conversation here.
Check out Echosmith's new album here.
