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Who gets more jealous on Facebook, men or women?
Social media can be a source of relationship conflict and its use has been linked to problems including cheating, jealousy, and divorce. In a study by researchers at Roanoke College, Michael Hudson and colleagues reported how men and women differ in Facebook jealousy responses. Women were found to be more jealous overall—which may make sense as they are heavier users of Facebook and have been shown to be more emotionally invested in updates and posts. Men appear to use Facebook less socially, primarily posting about activities rather than catching up with friends and posting about events or emotions.
The researchers explored what conditions make men and women jealous and what can be done about it.
As part of the study, one party innocently borrowed their significant other’s laptop to check their email—when he or she was in the other room. The laptop happened to be open to the significant other’s Facebook Messenger app, when they saw a message pop up reading, “What are you up to later?” with or without an emoticon. (Men reported more jealousy when they were asked to imagine seeing a message to their significant other from the opposite sex with a winky face, while women reported more jealousy when there was no emoticon or a smiley face emoticon.)
Gender differences were not seen when participants merely completed a Facebook jealousy scale. Researchers believe this may be because women are more willing to confess to feeling jealous if asked openly about it while men are likely to hide the emotion and see it as socially undesirable to express.
The gender differences do not stop there, though: Men’s jealousy was only apparent when researchers looked at participants' written responses, and was stronger than women’s only when the winky-face emoticon was part of the test. All participants were asked how they would feel and what they would do upon finding the message, and allowed to write as much as they wanted. A high percentage of male and female participants said they would talk to their partner, indicating some maturity in these emerging adults. However, a number of them indicated additional responses: Women were more likely to be willing to investigate a partner—cyberstalking—and seek support from friends. Men were more likely to be angry and to report wanting to get back at the unknown messenger and/or their partner.
The researchers believe that men are more likely to be angry in this scenario because their instinctual imperative to spread their seed is being challenged. In a scenario like this, men likely felt uncertainty about their partner’s loyalty and may have suspected cheating. In a follow-up survey, the researchers asked college students how they interpreted the winky-face emoticon and the resounding answer from both genders was that it was flirtatious. Pair that interpretation with a private message and you see where this is headed. (The researchers did not know which emoticon, if any, each participant had seen, nor did they know the gender of the participant when reviewing their answers.)
Hudson and colleagues offered a few takeaways for both researchers and Facebook users:
- When examining gender differences, particularly with an emotional component, it may be good to use different types of measures. Participants can complete questionnaires, but in some cases we may get a more honest response if they write out what they are thinking and feeling using their own words.
- There was concern about possible potential violence toward the messenger and/or partner based on some of the extreme responses given by participants (e.g., “I would hunt him down and make him wish he never met her”). More research in this area would be useful given the devastating results of domestic violence.
- The researchers recommended that couples talk about their use of Facebook and express what makes them feel uncomfortable or frustrated. Having open, genuine conversations from the start is not only a healthy relationship behavior but may allow a couple to establish guidelines or at least an understanding of their partner’s hot-button issues and viewpoints.
Further Reading Suggestions & References
Arnett J. Emerging adulthood. American Psychologist 2000; 55:469.
Buunk BP, Dijkstra P. Gender differences in rival characteristics that evoke jealousy in response to emotional versus sexual infidelity. Personal Relationships 2004; 11: 395–408.
Creswell JW, Plano Clark VL. (2007) Designing and conducting mixed methods research. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.
Derks D, Arjan EB, von Grumbkow J. Emoticons and online message interpretation. Social Science Computer Review 2008; 26:379–388.
Friedman, D.R., Hobby, A., McQueen, E., Grossheim, T. (2015, May). Emoticon interpretations and use: A descriptive examination of SNS type by gender. Poster to be presented at the Association for Psychological Science, New York City, NY.
Guadagno RE, Sagarin BJ. Sex differences in jealousy: an evolutionary perspective on online infidelity. Journal of Applied Social Psychology 2010; 40:2636–2655.
Hudson, M.B., Nicolas, S.C., Howser, M.E., Lipsett, K.E., Robinson, I.W., Pope, L.J., Hobby, A.F., & Friedman, D.R. (2015). Examining how gender and emoticons influence Facebook jealousy. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking. 18(2), 87-92.
Lo S. The nonverbal communication functions of emoticons in computer-mediated communication. Cyber-Psychology & Behavior 2008; 5:595–597.
Muise A, Christofides E, Desmarais S. More information than you ever wanted: does Facebook bring out the greeneyed monster of jealousy? CyberPsychology & Behavior 2009; 12:441–444.
Whitty MT. The realness of cybercheating: men’s and women’s representations of unfaithful Internet relationships. Social Science Computer Review 2005; 23:57–67.
