3 Tips for Communicating With Your Child’s Medical Team

“He kept saying ‘Am I going to have surgery? ... What’s going on?' He had a million questions: ‘What’s going to happen? When?’” (Marsac et al., 2011) —Parent of an 8-year-old child, hospitalized for treatment of an injury

Communication between families and healthcare teams, and sometimes within healthcare team,s can be quite challenging, especially if your child has complex medical needs. Sometimes youth ask millions of questions and sometimes they don’t ask any. Not asking questions doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t have any; this is true both for children and parents.

To help with communication with your child’s medical team, try these strategies:

1. Ask questions

• Ask as many questions are you need to. It is helpful for your child’s medical team to know what you understand and if you are getting conflicting information.
• You know your child best. If you notice something that seems off or that is confusing, ask your child’s nurses, doctors, or medical providers.
• It is okay to repeat questions as often as you need to.

2. Write it down

• Keep a notebook where you can jot down questions. Leave spaces for the answers. Read back the answers to your medical team to make sure you understand them.
• Notebook not convenient? Use the notes section of your phone to create a question/answer list.
• If your child is in the hospital, use the whiteboards (or bring your own) to put questions and answers up for the whole team to see. If you get different answers from different medical team members, point to the board and ask them to help you figure it out.

3. Include your child (if they are able and interested)

• Help your child learn to ask their own questions about their medical condition and medical treatment. Children often want to know:
  • What is the name of my medical condition?
  • What does having [insert medical condition] mean?
  • What does the medicine do?
  • What will happen next?
  • When do I have to go back to the doctor?
  • When do I get to go home?
  • Do I have more shots / blood draws?
• You can have your child draw pictures about their questions and / or write them down with them.

Parents are very important advocates for children’s health and healthcare. Working to communicate questions and information to your child’s healthcare team can help your child, yourself, and your child’s healthcare team.

The ideas in this post and resources are not a replacement for mental health care. If you are worried about your own or your child’s behaviors or emotions, reach out to your doctor for help.

To learn more, see Afraid of the Doctor: Every Parent’s Guide for Managing and Preventing Medical Trauma.