Bored Kids Are At-Risk Kids

When it comes to keeping kids safe and away from potentially dangerous behaviors, finding things that interest them can be a huge help. It really doesn’t matter what the interest is, providing it’s not dangerous to them or others. Kids who develop passions and interests in adolescence tend to associate with people who have similar interests and this can help them to be less bored and less likely to experiment with drugs and alcohol.

With COVID-19 keeping most of us isolated most of the time, boredom is even more likely. That's why it's so important for children to find something that matters to them. For example: If a child is passionate about sports, that child is going to follow their team, watch the sport on television, and perhaps even want to see games live. Again, with COVID-19 raging, it may be a matter of compiling the team statistics, or collecting team memorabilia. The important thing is that their interest in the sport is going to occupy their time, their energy and their passion. It will leave less time for them to be bored, or consider experimenting with drugs, alcohol, or other risky behaviors.

The question then becomes, how do kids develop these interests? Many parents push their kids into a variety of activities. Whether it's dance classes, or joining the boy scouts, or some other organized activity, often they are chosen by the parents. That's great if the child is excited about what they're doing, however, often it is the parent who chooses the activity and it's not actually embraced by the child. From the child’s point of view, when their parents want them (or force them) to engage in something they may not care about, it can create a negative feeling toward those activities. Children (and especially adolescents) want to embrace their own interests, not the ones their parents choose for them.

Many times when children find their own passions, adults don't understand them or see their value. There’s an old cliche about parents finding a child's comic book collection and throwing it out. There are many adults today who lament that the comic books their parents tossed in the trash years ago now sell for thousands of dollars at conventions. Why did the parents throw out something that was valuable to their child? Not because they wanted to be mean, just that the parents did not see the same value in the items that the child did.

Let’s look at the beginnings of rock and roll music back in the 1950s. That was a time when many adults thought rock and roll was dangerous and caused teens to go wild and lead to juvenile delinquency. This caused many people to be adamantly against it. Of course, nowadays, it is an accepted musical genre and doesn’t have the fear and condemnation associated with it that it did when it first began. What changed? It's no secret that kids in the 1950s loved rock and roll music. It spoke to them. It was their music. And as they grew up, they brought rock and roll music with them into the mainstream. Their parents disdain for it not only didn’t deter them, it bolstered their love for the music. After all, it was theirs. And when children can latch onto something that is theirs, that’s when their passion develops.

The point being made here is that kids and teenagers love to have something that is “theirs.” Something adults may not understand. It’s important for them to have their own touchstones to identify with in their lives. And that’s where they develop their passions and motivations. If you want children to develop passions in life, give them the ability to form their own interests. And if you don’t understand those interests it doesn’t matter. The important thing is that the child does.

One of the worst things adults can do is shame children for their interests. Just because it’s not something that the parent or adult may understand, doesn’t mean it doesn’t have value. Many of the most diverse interests children loved decades ago (super-hero comic books, computer programming, rap music) have become some of the most mainstream and profitable industries in the country.

The bottom line is this: If a child has a passion, even if it is not something you understand, recognize that the value in the activity is the passion it brings out in the child. As long as it is not something that is doing damage in some way, when children find something they feel passionate about, it can help develop their sense of wonder, exploration, and pride.