How the Contemplation of Death Can Lead to Meaning in Life

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Facing the inevitability of death—while not a preferred pastime for many of us—is known as ontological confrontation. It can happen in an instant, like in the unfortunate event of a dire health diagnosis (“I’m sorry but the mole is melanoma”) or as an imagined experience far off in the distance (“I wonder what it will feel like to be on my deathbed?”). In these instances our sense of ontological security (that comforting sense of continuity we feel about our life literally continuing onwards; Giddens, 1991) can be shattered; events that fail to match our carefully crafted meanings and social schemas, or frameworks of how we build others into our lives, shake our world foundations (Mellor & Shilling, 1993). This tectonic plate-shifting may not feel comfortable in the moment, but it can be profoundly valuable over time as we seek to accept our finitude and even grow from the awareness of it.

Existential psychotherapists and philosophers are convinced of the upsides of ontological confrontation. Appreciating the role of mortality in our lives, psychologist Hoffman refers to how we create our realities and meanings “in the teeth of the constant threat of non-being and meaninglessness” (1998, p. 16). Irvin Yalom (1980), a prolific voice in the existential psychotherapy community, champions the notion that death is a powerful agent of change. Feifel (1990) credits the death movement and one of its aims of anticipating death for providing organizing principles in how we conduct ourselves. Believing that acceptance of our finitude creates a portal to self-knowledge (Feifel, 1969), he maintains that the energy spent suppressing the facts of finality could be better invested in the positive and creative aspects of being—of living.

Rebuilding our idea of a life worth living

Personal construct theory (Kelly, 1955) is based on the idea that we develop constructs­—or meanings—to make sense of ourselves and anticipate future events. In the role of person-as-scientist, we create hypotheses about categories of our lives and must refine our constructs when faced with threats, like being asked for a divorce or getting let go at work. Reflecting on death, for example, is seen as a threat that calls for a fundamental change in the way we construe who we are (Lavoie & de Vries, 2004). This threat causes us to rebuild new constructs of how we see ourselves and swing into action to plan for our futures.

Countless prompts in our daily lives force us to get creative and make sense of how death-related events and experiences fit into our worldviews—from reading about a pop star’s overdose to planning a funeral for a loved one—we regularly comprehend death and what it means for us through the social worlds we live in (McManus, 2013). It’s our choice to use these ontological confrontations as moments to avoid or as opportunities to deepen our existence with vitality and meaning.

Opportunities to make meaning from mortality

Meaning management theory helps explain our innate quest for meaning as a key motivational driver in our lives (Wong, 2007). When we contemplate our mortality, that primary motive to find meaning in life tends to emerge. We seek to manage our inner lives amidst uncertainty, to square up what death—and life—means to us. We might ask ourselves, “How do I want to spend my time so it feels like it actually means something.” “What do I truly value, and am I living in a way that honors these values?” And, “What actions do I need to take to live with more intention?” Wong (2007) maintains that the drive to derive meaning, find authenticity, and grow are the ways in which we respond to the realities of death.

Related to meaning management theory is the meaning maintenance model (Heine, Proulx, & Vohs, 2006)—where contemplation of death is explained as the most profound interruption in our “meaning frameworks” that we base our ways-of-living assumptions. We engage in a process called fluid compensation to deal with the surreptitious feeling of meaninglessness that can sometimes fill the void between living and dying (Heine, Proulx, & Vohs, 2006). Mortality salience (that is: death awareness) triggers a motivation within us to maintain—or regain control of—meaning in our lives, like alleviating uncertainty in other facets of life, boosting our self-esteem, making social connections, and taking part in activities that we believe matter in some way (Proulx & Heine, 2006). One could say that thinking about death motivates us to live better than we do when we ignore it.

Waking up to life, via death

The existentialist “wakeup call” school of thought (inspired by philosophers like Kierkegaard and Heidegger) sees us benefitting from ontological confrontation by questioning our worldviews and living authentically in accordance with our values as a way to dissolve the anxieties of death (Martin, Campbell, & Henry, 2004). Regardless of the approach, a genuine understanding of our own mortality is seen to have profound psychological benefits and can be a catalyst for growth (Martin, Campbell, & Henry, 2004)—specifically in the realms of enhanced self-esteem, locus of control, and existential well-being (Cozzolino, Blackie, & Meyers, 2014).

Where might you benefit from a healthy reflection on mortality? Let's not miss out on the chance to live with more fulfillment; let's give ontological confrontation a chance to create even more meaning in our lives.