Verified by Final Analysis: 2012
How to spend the holidays* this year.
By Brian Frazer published January 1, 2012 - last reviewed on June 9, 2016
*all are actually holidays
JANUARY
Personal Self-Defense Awareness Month
Hold yourself hostage, then kick yourself in the face and escape.
FEBRUARY
Time Management Month
"Umm...are you sure Leap Year doesn't make it 30 days?"
MARCH
Sing with Your Child Month
March 1-14: show tunes; March 15-30: heavy metal; March 31: Gargle with salt water and drink plenty of hot tea with lemon and ginger.
APRIL
Youth Sports Safety Month
This month only: paintball guns filled with love!
MAY
Get Caught Reading Month
Walk across town with a newspaper wrapped around your face.
JUNE
Accordion Awareness Month
Go to a music store and write a thank you card to a different accordion every day.
JULY
Doghouse Repairs Month
Finally get around to sandblasting the stucco ceiling in your Airedale's master bedroom.
AUGUST
Audio Appreciation Month
Whenever you hear a sound, make one back.
SEPTEMBER
Subliminal Communications Month
Yup. Exactly!
OCTOBER
Self-Promotion Month
Listen to my podcast where I talk about blogging about my tweets!
NOVEMBER
Gluten-Free Diet Awareness Month
Go to the mall, knock over the "Just Gluten" kiosk, celebrate with an almond.
DECEMBER
Spiritual Literacy Month
Make a banner that says "I before E, except if God doesn't want it to be!"
