Would You Be My... Roommate?

Everyone who's married remembers how, when and where the
momentous question was popped. But when two people move in together, they're often much more cavalier about it. "It's a bigger decision than a lot of couples realize," says Galena Kline, a research assistant at the Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver. "It's really going to change their life and relationship more than they might think. But a lot of couples don't necessarily communicate about it."

TALK, TALK, TALK: Sitting down to discuss feelings and expectations about living together before making a move is the best way for couples to ensure a good experience. It's helpful for partners to talk about topics ranging from the sublime to the mundane: marriage, kids, life goals -- and who will take out the garbage or feed the cat.

FINANCIAL FIRST STEP: Decide how you'll deal with money matters. "We don't recommend immediately combining your accounts," cautions Marshall Miller, coauthor with Dorian Solot of Unmarried to Each Other. Keeping money and credit separate initially, he says, removes an area of potential conflict during a time of adjustment and lets partners see how compatible their financial styles really are.

THE SHAKEDOWN: If you want to test the waters before hiring a moving van, do a "trial cohabitation." Solot and Miller suggest living with your potential partner for a week or two, but caution, "Don't be enticed by fantasies of spending long, lazy days in bed followed by heartfelt conversations while you prepare dinner elbow to elbow, looking adorable... Give yourselves a real feel for the pressure of the morning dash, the low energy I-just-want-to-crash-in-front-of-the-TV evening and the negotiation over who will do the dishes."