How Using Sexually Explicit Media Can Harm a Relationship

Have you ever been at a party or function at the home of a couple you have known for years, only to accidentally spot an adult magazine? Do you leave it where it is, push it under the rug so other guests and children won’t see it, or tell the host? A dilemma with no good options, this situation is awkward at best, but prophetic at worst due to the damaging impact explicit content can have on relationships.

Some partners believe consuming sexually explicit material is always harmless. This is false. From insecurity to infidelity, sexually graphic content is potentially harmful both emotionally and through behavior and reduces the ability to have a positive relationship.

Source: Pexels by Pixabay

Sexually Explicit Media and Relationship Satisfaction

Maria Veit et al. (2017) studied the link between sexually explicit media (SEM) use and relational satisfaction.¹ They define SEM as any type of material that is aimed at “creating or enhancing sexual feelings or thoughts in the recipient,” that includes explicit exposure or descriptions of the genitals as well as explicit sexual acts.

Studying a yearlong time period, Veit et al. note that, as compared to women, men reportedly used SEM more frequently and experienced significantly lower levels of relationship satisfaction. They found a moderating effect of emotional intimacy: a higher amount of SEM consumption was linked with a lower level of relationship satisfaction among men who reported lower levels of relational emotional intimacy.

Regarding the moderating variable, they found that men who reported mean or higher levels of emotional intimacy did not experience a significant association between the frequency of SEM use and relationship satisfaction. But for men who reported below-average levels of emotional intimacy, their consumption of SEM was significantly related to a lower amount of relationship satisfaction.

The Downside of Sexually Explicit Media

Veit et al. examined several explanations for SEM use and lower relationship satisfaction. One is that viewing attractive romantic alternatives in the form of extra-dyadic sexual partners may decrease romantic relational commitment and increase the likelihood of straying, which threatens relationship satisfaction and stability. Another explanation is that SEM can create unrealistic sexual expectations, which can adversely affect partner self-esteem or enhance sexual objectification.

The Darkside of Sexually Explicit Media

Most people recognize that SEM has a downside, but it also has a dark side. Because consumption drives demand, using SEM contributes to the recruitment of young men and women who are exploited to produce the content. Consumption also saps valuable time and attention that could be spent on productive work and personal relationships. Accordingly, SEM can adversely impact the well-being of the consumer emotionally, relationally, morally, and financially.

For compulsive users of SEM who want to stop, there are numerous resources regarding support services and programs readily available on the Internet. For singles just getting to know a potential paramour, best to explore preferred content preferences early in a relationship to avoid embarking down a road of emotional distance, disappointment, and dissatisfaction.