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The Police Officer’s Social Dilemma

Socially, the officer Is between a rock and a hard place.

As soon as they enter the police academy, recruits learn that their life and safety depend on their partners. Being a cop requires walking into danger: backing each other up is the key to survival. You cover for each other … and you never criticize another cop in public. Sometimes it is called the blue wall of silence.

A man is likely to do better in life if he develops a rich social network. In addition to work friends, family, and casual friends, he needs two, three, or four buddies he trusts completely. Guys who would get up in the middle of the night to help him out if he’s in trouble.

Yesterday I was talking to a veteran officer of the New York City Police Department.

I’ll call him Tom, but that’s not his name. Nearly 20 years ago he joined the Department and started out on the street. He's moved up, and now has a command position.

Tom is close to his large, extended family; it includes people of all colors. Besides family and fellow officers, he has maintained friendships with some old friends who are not on the force. He advises men in his command to maintain this kind of rich social network, of the sort that I recommended.

But here’s the catch:

Tom told me, “In March and April of this year cops were heroes. Everybody’s focus was on COVID-19. We were getting sick while taking people to the hospital. I had men on respirators. Everybody hailed us as heroes. Now, since the protests began (about the killing of George Floyd and others) we cops all became villains. I'm hesitant to go to a family party, because somebody's likely to take off on me about police brutality!”

Tom told me that most recruits today are in their mid-20s and are often members of a minority group: Black, Hispanic, Southeast Asian, Chinese, Hmong, you name it. Many have at least a couple of years of college. Almost all of them are idealistic and want to help their community while making a decent salary that will enable them to support a family.

What happens to the social network of a young police officer? He may want to keep friends from high school and perhaps college, while making new friends on the force. But what if people in the community see him, now that he is in uniform, as just another prejudiced cop? And what if the officers he works with expect him to not criticize another cop?

My point of view on police officers is influenced by the years I spent providing psychiatric care to a white police officer. He came to me for treatment of severe posttraumatic stress disorder: his symptoms included deep depression and panic attacks.

Henry (not his real name) and his partner were investigating a burglary in a factory. They found evidence of a break-in and heard a noise coming from the unlit basement. Backed up by his partner, Henry took the lead. He had just gotten down the steps into the dark basement when someone at the other end of the room switched on the lights. Startled, Henry unintentionally fired one shot. The bullet killed an employee.

Henry and his partner called for backup and an ambulance. He immediately turned in his gun and refused to ever carry one again. A protracted and painful investigation cleared him, and he stayed on the police force, but only doing clerical work.

Henry’s wife divorced him a year after the incident; his depression was more than she could tolerate. He later married an old friend, but his low mood and panic attacks made married life difficult.

Before joining the police force Henry had been in the army for three years but did not see combat. He had only fired a gun on the practice range while in the army and on the police force. According to a lieutenant in the New York State police, with whom I used to do trainings of high school teachers on how to best deal with troublesome adolescent boys, a police officer who retires without ever having fired his gun in the line of duty is considered to have had a successful career.

I was Henry's psychiatrist for about eight years. In addition to medications for his panic attacks and deep depression, I provided supportive psychotherapy. His wife and friends helped as much as they could. His mother and stepfather, who lived in another state, made frequent visits to encourage and support his recovery.

After a few years, Henry retired from the police force and took an unpaid volunteer job as an investigator for the County District Attorney. The feedback I heard was that he worked hard and was compassionate and thorough in his work. He was well-liked and earned everyone’s respect.

To summarize, Henry made a social recovery. However, in his conversations with me he was clear: He felt he was only half the man he had been before the shooting. He could not forgive himself or trust himself. His grief for the man he killed was unremitting.

There is no doubt that there is a blue wall of silence that separates police officers from the public. No matter how idealistic and lacking in prejudice a recruit may be, police culture may change his attitude. Also, as soon as he puts on the uniform, he is treated differently by the public. Some will treat him with respect and expect his help, while others may fear and distrust him before he has said a word.

Most people are honest and law-abiding. They appreciate the many services that police officers provide. Unfortunately, they may also have had negative experiences with police in the past. Similarly, the police officer may also have had both negative and positive experiences with the public.

We need the leaders of our communities to step up and plan with their local police leaders to turn down the volume and change the tune.

It is time for state and local governments to look analytically at the work the police are asked to do in their community, beyond their primary task of curbing and responding to violence in a prompt and effective manner. Many communities lack adequate staffing for their mental health system, crisis care in particular. That is why the police are first responders to a report of a disturbed person. But having an officer demand or even request access to the home of an agitated, frightened person may be the first step in a dance of tragedy. There are many problems for which the police might better serve as backup, rather than as first responder.

Local community groups can develop after-school activities, summer jobs, and recreation programs. Other local groups can reclaim abandoned buildings and empty lots and turn them into club and activity rooms and green spaces. Marital conflicts can be better helped by counselors and social workers than by the police.

It will take a lot of work for community leaders, working with police administrators, to plan, reorganize, develop, and evaluate the service network of even a single community. But to not do so would be to allow the intolerable status quo to continue.

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