Clearing the Air: A Skunk Dream That Led to Better Communication

When Melanie dreamed about a skunk, she realized the “bad smell” brought to mind a relationship problem she was experiencing. Later she discovered that the skunk metaphor not only helped her define her problem but could lead her to the solution.

The Dream

Melanie: “I saw a white skunk in my home. I didn't know they existed. It had a caramel stripe on its back. I also tried to spray it with water, and it ran away.”

The Discussion

I first asked Melanie, “How did you feel in the dream? Were you frightened or angry, or determined to get rid of the skunk? Can you tell me a few things that come to mind when you think about a skunk?”

Melanie responded, “I was surprised at seeing an albino skunk since it looked unique but also helpless and small. It is still gross because I didn't think it should be in my home. I sprayed water on it to avoid bad smells and it ran away. I felt relief but then wondered where it ran to since it was still in my home.”

I continued, “I would ask if you have lately felt like something or someone is inside your ‘space.’ Maybe there’s an element of surprise about them being in your space. Perhaps you feel that they are ‘helpless’ and that’s why you let them in. Is there a recent situation in your life where this description resonates?”

Melanie caught her dream. “Oh, my. This is about my dad and something he did. He had some issues with my husband and recently came to visit. My husband left to avoid him. The visit was two hours.”

Taking a stab at it, I added, “But it left a smell.”

Melanie appreciated my humor. “Yes! There's more. The same day, I was braiding my daughter’s hair and sprayed it with a spray bottle. Then my dad came. It might explain the spray bottle.”

“Do you see your dad as a little vulnerable?” I asked. “Is he helpless and small?”

She replied, “Yes, because he is 81. It’s easy for me to see him connected to a skunk because he’s the one who caused a stink. Now my husband doesn't trust him.”

I inquired, “May I ask what your dad actually did that made your husband lose trust in him?”

She explained, “We recently sold our home and bought a new one. My husband called my dad with the great news and asked if he would give us a loan until the closing date. My dad responded by pretending not to understand what was being asked of him. Discovering my dad wasn't receptive as he had expected, my husband turned off. Now he holds this against him, which also stinks! Conversely, my dad doesn't like that my husband rarely calls him just to say hi, but when he needed money he didn’t hesitate to lift the phone. Both men, in my opinion, have ego issues.”

I asked Melanie, “If you really did have a skunk inside your house, how would you remove the smell? What would you do?”

Melanie’s response was fast and simple. “You would need to air the place out. It takes a little time, but it will clear the air.”

Now curious about skunks, she looked up more information and found the following:

“If a skunk sprays inside, near, or under your home, try the following:

1. Ventilate your home by opening all windows and running fans on high.
2. If your home is temperature-controlled with an HVAC system, let the fan run continuously until the smell is gone.
3. Let sunlight in, as this will help oxidize the odor.
4. Place bowls of vinegar in each room of the house and leave them in place for 24 to 48 hours, or until the scent is gone.
5. Make sure the bowls are out of reach of pets and children.”

What We Can Learn

In many cases, dreams can evoke a problem in your life by tapping into a personal metaphor that you build with your own associations. If you look to the real-life aspect of the dream metaphor, you can often find solutions to the problem.

This is exactly what Melanie did. Hearing her response, I exclaimed, “What a gorgeous solution you are presenting right in front of us! Since it was your dream, let’s get back to you. How does their conflict affect you, Melanie?”

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“It bothers me plenty. I don’t like it that my father refused to extend us the loan and was especially upset to learn he told my mom that he would have given it to us had she not stepped in to help. As for my husband, I am truly uncomfortable with his leaving the house when my dad is coming. How is that going to work going forward?”

Agreeing with Melanie wholeheartedly, I encouraged her to heed the advice about removing the skunk smell herself as a beginning: “Start by airing the place out! In other words, speak to your husband about how all of this makes you feel. Bring sunlight in by way of discussion. Tell your dad how you feel. Finally, as we know, the sourness of vinegar can describe what working through a conflict tastes like. It’s good advice to clear the air with your husband and father while the children are away. Maybe after talking with you, your husband and father will be able to clear the air through their own conversation!”