Bullying
The Perils of Empowerment
Personal perspective: What the Ukraine war can teach about empowering abusers.
Posted March 28, 2022 Reviewed by Devon Frye
Key points
- Even when it's hard, finding the courage to call out abusive behavior and bullying, and put a stop to it, is necessary.
- The discomfort we entertain out of passivity and fear can quickly become the terror that enslaves us.
- Inevitably and thankfully, people usually reveal their true intentions through bad behavior and or undeniable patterns of corrupt acts.
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, then yielding it while intoxicated can produce nothing less than fruit that is rotten to the core.
As the world watches the brutal invasion of a country that never asked for or invited any of it, I cannot help but recall a devasting scene from the movie "A Clockwork Orange." When a gang of thugs breaks into a wheelchair-bound author’s house and savagely rapes his wife, his shame and emotional paralysis resulting from looking on are fueled by the fear of worse being unleashed, in the face of madness.
Unlike a random criminal act, the violence and likely war crimes taking place in Ukraine are part of a predictable pattern of violent oppression born out of years of appeasement and empowerment granted to a brutal dictator by the world. The lessons we will continue to learn about humanity and cruelty as the ashes of war blow across the world are innumerable. One lesson should not be missed.
Be mindful of who you empower with control in your life, family, community, and country.
My work as a mental health educator focuses on teaching people how to empower their lives and take control of negativity—in all its forms. On more occasions than I can count, women, men, and children have reached out to me in debilitated, battle-weary states, mounting a sincere effort to free themselves from a domineering spouse, partner, or bully.
Although each story of abuse, bullying, and degradation was unique, a common thread ran through all of them. Without exception, every battered soul who fell prey to this toxic behavior reported, “There was a moment I knew I should have put my foot down and said or done something to stop it—instead, I let it go.”
A woman shared, “One our third date he cursed at me, and then apologized profusely. I looked the other way. Now here I am two kids, a broken leg, and four years later trying to figure out a plan to leave my abusive husband.”
Her passivity early on had empowered him to take control of her life. The discomfort we entertain out of passivity and fear can quickly become the terror that enslaves us.
The world has repeatedly witnessed the leader of Russia, Vladimir Putin, casually then blatantly disregard the basic principles of conduct that govern human interactions. From the unjust jailing of his nemesis Alexey Navalny to the appalling bombing of innocent families in a self-described military operation, like a snowball rolling downhill and gaining steam, Putin now yields the full force of an avalanche.
The time to seek shelter from the storm has long since passed. We ignored the weather forecast and now find ourselves naked, exposed to the frigid elements—those in Ukraine in the greatest peril of all.
Inevitably and thankfully, people usually reveal their true intentions through bad behavior or undeniable patterns of corrupt acts. Like a panther hunting a fox in silence, the evil among us often cannot help but pounce when the opportunity is right.
It is a mistake to treat a panther like a house cat. Forcing the fit guarantees suffering. Even when it's hard, finding the courage to call out abusive behavior and bullying, and put a stop to it, is necessary. Dreaming that time will pass, and the malicious behavior will settle down is a form of permission and a green light for bullies to move deeper into their mayhem.
My grandfather was fond of saying "Don't be afraid to rock some boats in this lifetime! Tip them over if necessary. The best place for some people is overboard."