Political Rally Shooting: Keeping Cool Heads and Warm Hearts

Source: By Ravi Chandra

The last 24 hours have probably been one of the most overwhelming in the American collective psyche in a long time, perhaps rivaled only by the events of January 6, and for me as an Asian American, the murder of George Floyd in 2020 and the Atlanta Spa shootings in 2021. There have been too many other horrendous episodes of gun violence: Sandy Hook, Uvalde, UCSB-Isla Vista, the killings of unarmed people by police, and countless others, including violence in Israel, Gaza, Sudan, the Congo, and elsewhere. Violence and the transmission of violence itself are the problem. An active program of non-violence, in speech and deed, is the solution.

I fear for the country when violence, even for one man, appears to be a solution to our divisions. An event like this threatens to split not just the country, but our individual psyches as we spin with frustrations, fears, resentments, and even anger and hostility. It can also be a moment to cultivate our better angels, not in support of any political party, but in support of a pathway towards shared humanity and recognition of our common plight.

I encourage us all to care for our mental health and our social well-being right now, and remember that, as my own personal writing card says, “kindness is the only instruction.” There’s a lot of heat right now. What can we do to bring out the best?

Take the time to cultivate a cool head and a warm heart, and recognize where you fall short, as we all do, at least in moments. We can do our best to not let those moments become character. We can contain ourselves and hold each other, and not let “hot heads and cold hearts” become our personal and national destinies.

I fall back on these five things: mindfulness, compassion, relationship, creativity, and insight. This supports the building blocks of mental health and social well-being: cognition (reason), empathy, and relatedness.

But how?

1. Be aware of catastrophizing and political “haymaking.” For the long-term wins for democracy and greater safety for all, we have to resist those pulls for our attention and energy.
2. Take time out. A media break might be needed, even as we might feel we need more information, maybe we need more mental and emotional space to hold the disconnection and anguish that comes at us from this difficult world.
3. Reflect on the role of hostility and violence in your own life. Have you been the recipient of hostility and violence? Their agent? Most of us have elements of both, I think.
4. Do your best not to blame one party or another for the hostility and violence. Sometimes naming and deconstructing how hostility, violence, and “splitting” are practiced and affect us can help, but try not to harden your mind against perceived “enemies.” Instead, incline yourself towards soothing friends and benevolent people in your life. Incline benevolence towards yourself, and being a good friend to your own distress.
5. Keep your eyes on the emotional disturbance that is being transmitted. At my best, I can realize we are receiving a “historical transmission” of anguish, generated by the quest for power, and underneath it, feelings of powerlessness, vulnerability, and insecurity.
6. Ask yourself, is it possible to cultivate power that doesn’t make others feel powerless, but rather empowers all, and inclines us to the greater good? (See my post “Which of Six Power Types Will You Embody and Support?” from 2022, in references)
7. Do you have a spiritual or secular tradition that might help you contain your hostility? If so, can you remember to practice it? I use self-compassion, mindfulness, and loving kindness to be with difficult emotions, rather than allowing myself to “become” them.
8. Use all of this to deepen your understanding of how you suffer, and how the culture suffers.
9. Can you pledge to do your best not to transmit suffering, but to transform it?
10. Continue to remind yourself to cultivate inner peace, and advocate for reason, empathy, and relationship.

The famous quote often attributed to Viktor Frankl but of uncertain provenance applies:

'Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.'

And Tara Brach's "Three Teachings" apply:

“Please don’t believe your thoughts!”
“Please just pause and come back into presence!
“Please remember love!”

I hope you find rest, peace, and well-being as we face the days and choices ahead.

© 2024 Ravi Chandra, M.D., D.F.A.P.A.