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Narcissism
Narcissism, Needs for Certainty and Closure, and Relatedness
What feeds the psychological distress of our current political situation?
Posted July 30, 2019
Narcissism exists as both a personality disorder and as a fundamental question of the human psyche: “Am I for others or for myself?” Researchers studying altruism in animal and human behavior find plentiful and ubiquitous examples for nurturing, cooperation, and communal behavior.
Biologically, mammals (and not just mammals) are wired to care for offspring and at the very least, their “in-group.” Through our cultural and societal evolution, we have expanded our definition of “in-group” such that discrimination by race, gender, sexual orientation, and disability status is intolerable to most Americans, and are in fact prohibited by law. But the American social landscape seems to be at a turning point right now, with a polarization, at least at the leadership level, between those who have a narrow vision of the in-group, and those with broader concerns. It’s imperative for our survival as a nation that we understand our dances with narcissism and polarization from a psychological, and not simply a visceral, basis.
The good news: the electorate as a whole does not seem to be as polarized as we are led to believe by the media. A recent study by the Hidden Tribes project (Yudkin D, Hawkins S, Dixon T. The Perception Gap (2019) More In Common, available online) details that both Republicans and Democrats imagine that almost twice as many people on the other side hold extreme views than really do. (You can also listen to this 23-minute long podcast on the subject from KQED: False Perceptions Further Divide Among Americans, New Study Finds, 7/8/19.)
The bad news is that the most partisan among us are the most likely to believe their “opponents” have extreme views. Consuming media worsens the outcome. “[P]eople who consume news ‘most of the time’ are almost three times as inaccurate as those who consume it “only now and then.” “Furthermore, those who post about politics on social media show a substantially larger Perception Gap than those who do not.”
Intrapsychic and interpersonal distress are consequences of having a polarized leadership and media landscape. Deeply troubling situations such as the current border crisis overload our synapses, including those of border agents who state that their current treatment of children and families “is not what we were trained to do.” (Rosenberg M, Cooke K, An ever-expanding job for border agents: sensitive decisions on migrants' fates. July 13, 2019, Reuters.) Overloaded synapses resort to behaviors such as “blowing off steam” in closed Facebook groups, or making hostile comments to perceived critics. Some leaders seem to grow fat on the discord, while others try to help the country do the best it can under difficult pressures. This analysis can be applied to any number of situations, from the economy to health care to education. However, those impacting identity on an individual and national basis are particularly troubling.
Like all personality traits, narcissism is malleable. Under the right stresses, most people can appear more narcissistic and less concerned about others' well-being. However, narcissistic leaders, be they political, religious, or organizational, thrive on chaos, because their inner lives are chaotic. At worst, they can assume relationships are win-lose and inherently antagonistic, rather than win-win and mutual. They can also view relationships as utilitarian: "what can I get out of this person?" Thus they leave a wake of damaged relationships, suffer and cause suffering. “Narcissists are extraordinarily insecure about their capacity to love and be loved and are frantic in their search for others who will admire them, be impressed by them, empathize with their needs, validate their specialness, and/or serve as an idealized object who will never shame them or humiliate them.” (Gabbard G, Crisp H. (2018) Narcissism and its Discontents. American Psychiatric Association Publishing.)
What psychological factors might cause extremists in the media and the electorate to become more polarized and self-interested? Here are three dualities to keep in mind. You can use these dualities to understand both yourself and the current situation. Adopting a "growth mindset" as opposed to a "fixed mindset" allows for optimal solutions for self and others.
Narcissistic political mindedness vs. relationship mindedness
For most of us, civility, friendliness and kindness are the bottom line. No matter where we stand politically, “The Human Touch” is supreme. It is painful and depressing to this vast majority to see some political leaders use inflammatory language, insults, blaming, shaming and scapegoating as “red meat” for their bases. Generally speaking, this mudslinging works to suppress voter turnout. (See “What is Psychological Voter Suppression?” September 9, 2016.)
Therapeutic antidote
If you find yourself drawn into narcissistic, self-righteous, angry and defensive political mindedness, take a media break. Get off the internet, take turn off the TV, and engage in relationship-building activities, or take a walk in nature to generate friendliness with yourself and others. This is practicing self-compassion as well as compassion for the “others” in your mind. The internet fails us. Talking to a friend, neighbor or therapist helps. (Well, maybe cat and dog videos can help too.) Re-engage when you can do so with more inner peace.
Need for cognitive closure vs. tolerance of uncertainty
Cognitive closure is defined as the need to find “answers” or “win” in ambiguous situations. While this is said to be a fairly stable individual trait, like all traits, it can be altered by variables such as time constraints (e.g. an upcoming election, facing many projects and deadlines, or certain ideological viewpoints). While I believe most people value compromise and seeing other people’s points of view, and generally value mutually satisfactory agreements, that becomes more challenging under certain pressures, such as encountering headstrong individuals and groups who seem intolerant of one’s identity, to the point of bullying, name-calling and harassment, online and otherwise. (See “Cyberbullying and Breaking Out of Hate Spirals,” July 19, 2019)
In general, conservatives rate higher on the need for closure than liberals. Higher need for closure also correlates with authoritarianism and dogmatism, including religious dogmatism. Hence, we see particular polarization between extreme religious conservatives and what they might consider “morally lax” liberals or "heathens." (Fill in the blank with any religion or ideology you choose.) Some observers of the siege of the Branch Davidian compound in Waco, Texas attribute the bad outcome to a single federal agent with a high need for closure.
Therapeutic antidotes
If you find yourself drawn towards cognitive closure and certainty/stereotyping about certain people or political situations, try to remind yourself that we’re all human. We all have vulnerability and uncertainty, though some may try to escape it through taking a “power position” and avoiding or persecuting those who they think make their lives more difficult. Avoidance and power complexes, though, perpetuate trauma and sociopathy, and eventually lead to serious problems. We must relate to our fears and anxieties with fortitude and the help of caring others. We can all help each other in our human struggles. Again, this is practicing self- and other-compassion. Also, forming real-world relationships with those "others" you mistrust can go a long way towards defusing your inner stereotype-generator. Self-compassion is negatively correlated with need for closure. (Neff K, Roos V. Self-Compassion Versus Global Self-Esteem: Two Different Ways of Relating to Oneself (2009) Journal of Personality 77:1, accessed online 7/30/19)
Crystallized and fluid intelligence
Fluid intelligence is the capacity to solve novel problems, independent of any knowledge from the past. Crystallized intelligence is the ability to use previously acquired skills, knowledge and experience. These are thought to exist on separate neural and mental networks, and both are necessary for survival and well-being. With fluid intelligence, we can let go of preconceptions and bias, and creatively look for new solutions. With crystallized intelligence, we can let history, experience, and previously acquired mental maps be our guide.
We can easily see the danger of overload in either direction. Too much fluidity and novelty can cause distress and overwhelm. Too much crystallization can lead to cognitive rigidity. But at the right moment under good conditions, we can experience paradigm shift(s) and insight(s), and the individual or culture can make great progress. (See Thomas Kuhn’s The Structure of Scientific Revolutions, though this can be applied to secular and religious thought as well.) As with all the other items, compassion and self-compassion help us move towards a humanistic and humanitarian shift, and cultivating a growth mindset.
Therapeutic antidotes
Everyone needs support for their identities. Ultimately, you can be right or related, right or happy. Anyone on either side of the “intelligence spectrum” as such will need help relating, with support, reassurance, positive regard, and unconditional self- and other- acceptance, the mainstays of treatment. We may find certain thoughts or behaviors difficult, but we would do well as a society to create connection despite difference. Relating despite difference is fundamental to our American motto, “E Pluribus Unum”. Out of many, one. Some might say that relating despite, or even because, of difference is the very definition of love and humanity. (See “No, Self Centeredness is Killing America,” June 20, 2015)
It seems that the push for closure, certainty, relying solely on past experience, and devaluing others narcissistically may all be related to "threat states" - which push our survival brain buttons to "fight/flight/freeze." Compassion and self-compassion build our mammalian caregiving systems for self and other, and thus help us defuse the survival brain and expand towards growth.
Thanks for reading! And best wishes to all of us.
For more on Compassion and Mindful Self Compassion cultivation, see the Center for Mindful Self Compassion and The Compassion Institute, as well as SF Love Dojo.
© 2019, Ravi Chandra, M.D., D.F.A.P.A.
