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Key points
- World tragedy is everywhere; responding to it impacts mental health and internal calm.
- Taking time away from the media and phones for periods of time will provide relief.
- Exposure to constant negativity can lead to anxiety and increased stress levels.
I measure every Grief I meet
With narrow, probing, eyes –
I wonder if It weighs like Mine –
Or has an Easier size.
— Excerpt from Emily Dickinson’s “I measure every Grief I meet”
It's human nature to pay attention to tragedy. We see it when driving on the roads and traffic backs up because people can’t help but slow down to view the accident. Where there’s tragedy, danger, and threat, the after-effect of trauma is often not far behind. What’s curious is how people in the face of tragedy, as onlookers or witnesses, become laser-focused on the accident, the bomb, or the loss of life. Is the lure partially due to the emotions felt and elicited from such tragic sightings, even if they are seen through the lens of social media? Perhaps so. However, as news of one tragedy after another floods our social media feeds, it can feel like we’re constantly inundated with suffering. This kind of suffering, like a web of grief without relief in sight, is taking a toll on our mental health.
With the constant stream of news and social media updates, it can feel overwhelming to keep up with the tragedies and conflicts occurring around the world.
The recent events in Ukraine, Israel, Maui, the Middle East, Africa, and Iceland, can cause witnesses, both present and from around the world, to experience a sense of helplessness and emotional overwhelm. Witnesses may feel the need to view current news feeds related to the tragic and traumatic trends happening. Aspects of grief shadowing a person can play with their emotions and psyches in ways that are relentless. Sadly, having had a history of traumatic events or experiences, as explored in a Case Western Reserve University article in The Daily, “carries more psychological weight than positive information, which makes sense in evolutionary terms: We want to know where the potential dangers and threats are in our environment, and so our attention is drawn to problems and negative information.”
Have you ever noticed that amidst all the different present-day tragedies, your focus moves from one tragedy to another? This is what I refer to as “tragedy surfing.” The constant momentum and messaging call to you, “Watch me first.” The constant pulses of a lit-up screen grab the eye and attention, tease you to be absorbed into the plague of world tragedy, and play with your mental health.
What Is Tragedy Surfing?
To be clear, tragedy surfing isn’t an actual term I’ve seen written about or studied. Yet, it’s a response and action I’ve heard about in sessions, especially from people whose backgrounds have some kind of traumatic legacy. What I hear is “I can’t turn off the news about Israel, Ukraine, the violence in the streets, or the pop-up gunmen who kill innocent victims.”
And when I query friends and family members, many of whom have some kind of trauma in their backgrounds, they are either obsessively watching the news or avoiding it completely.
On any given day, news of several ongoing and chronic wars is reported in detail. Death tolls, assaults, both sexual and non-sexual, murders, and political outrage consume and create an ongoing reminder of loss and grief. This constant shifting is exhausting, yet in its repetition, it seems to create a backdrop to a kind of numbness usually associated with mourning. Being numb is a defense against emotional overwhelm.
Why Do People Tragedy Surf?
Is it a morbid fascination with the darker side of humanity? Or is it a way to feel connected to the trauma of the world when in a state of helplessness?
Is it a way for someone who has experienced their own trauma to feel less alone, less invisible in their pain, fostering a sense of belonging with a cohort of trauma survivors? Perhaps there is information there that would bring some depth of understanding to these responses, which seem to be automatic.
Let's explore the reasons why there’s a potential tendency for tragedy surfing and why it seems to be occurring more frequently.
One reason there’s a focus on consuming tragedy is the amount of immediate information available to us. The media pummels its viewers with clever headlines of breaking news… leaving some suspense as to what is coming up next to lure the audience into its grip, ultimately increasing viewership.
Staying focused on a single event when constantly being pulled in different directions is harder than one might think.
Jumping from one tragic story to another may mirror the internal chaos felt by the brain and internalized within the body. The numbness is part of what I call the experience of emotional armor within grief. This place of armor is where denial, hysteria, protest, despair, and numbness live. This is where certain emotions find a way to cope, momentarily quieting the intensity of grief responses attributed to the unruly pain of loss and tragedy.
Tragedy surfing has nothing to do with being insensitive or the absence of being a caring soul, but rather with the structure of our brains and the way neural pathways get formed to handle this degree of daily stress and tragedy.
Helplessness
If you are constantly scrolling through social media or searching for the latest heartbreaking news story to share or comment on, perhaps there’s a sense of obligation to raise awareness and show support for those affected by tragedy.
While this may be a noble intention, it's important to examine why this behavioral response to tragedy presides within your life.
It might have to do with helplessness. No one likes to feel helpless, powerless, and invisible. Finding the means to contribute when one's helplessness and grief are prevalent is often a way to compensate for those feelings. This might be done by donating to a GoFundMe campaign for survivors of a natural disaster or participating in a group of like minded folks, giving you a sense of control in the turmoil of the situation. Remember that true change comes from sustained action and support, rather than fleeting attention.
What else could you be doing, socially speaking, if you weren’t in the loop of tragedy surfing?
In the absence of tragedy surfing, what feelings or thoughts might come up?
Does this kind of surfing quell anxiety or anger or despair?
How Does Tragedy Surfing Contribute to Unresolved Grief and Trauma?
Grief is tough. It’s hard to talk about. It feels lonely. It can alienate you from others and push you into emotional arenas you wish you could forget. One way to avoid what you don't want to feel is to engage in the act of tragedy surfing.
When someone has a history of trauma, media stories on war, assault, or shootings may cause them to withdraw, become silent, or take leave of the situation altogether. However, some people with a trauma history may find serial tragedy surfing calming and relaxing. This happens because the body of someone who’s known trauma will often cope by going into a state of stillness.
Avoidance
Does the act of avoidance work?
As a therapist, I’ve noticed that avoiding what doesn’t want to be felt or acknowledged eventually comes and bites you in the proverbial... (you fill in the blank). When you avoid, the thing or feelings which are avoided tend to get bigger and harass your mind and heart with greater tenacity.
It's important to examine motivations when the urge to indulge in tragic news becomes an obsession, and to seek support if we find that it triggers our own grief or trauma.
Although tragedy surfing may offer temporary relief, in the end it only prolongs our own healing journey.
The Impact of Tragedy Surfing on Mental Health
Tragedy surfing can have negative impacts on mental health, including emotional overload, anxiety, trauma, and empathy fatigue.
Coping strategies include:
- Setting boundaries with technology: Say no to tech and replace it with conversation, writing, creativity, and exercise.
- Incorporating a refocus strategy: try rituals for breathwork and self-care (think long showers, massage, healthy cooking, and exercise).
- Finding professional help if needed. There are free call centers if you cannot afford help with incessant and overwhelming thoughts. If you have a doctor you trust, you might reach out to them and ask for help. There’s nothing to be ashamed of when you reach out for help. Asking for help takes a different kind of courage than the courage of being in pain alone.
You can help to alleviate stress and build resilience in the mire of tragedy-surfing and your grief.
To find a therapist, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.
