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When we’re experiencing stress at work, it often feels black and white. We might say, "this is stressful," rather than "this feels stressful," believing that the event, rather than our perspective on the event, is what is causing the stress. While some situations are objectively more stressful than others—such as getting laid off or dealing with an inept manager—it’s more often our perspective that dictates the level of stress than we realize.
Researchers have identified several factors that influence our view of potentially stressful situations:
- Individual differences: Different people find different things stressful. For instance, many of my MBA students consider making presentations to be stressful, whereas others love getting up in front of the group.
- Current circumstances: What a person is currently dealing with can make a big difference. For example, receiving a challenging assignment at work might be exciting when you have the time to invest in it, but it can feel overwhelming if your plate is already full.
- Complexity of situations: Many situations are complex and can evoke a mix of emotions and perspectives. Being offered a promotion, for instance, can be both stressful and exciting, challenging and daunting, all at the same time.
Due to these variations, researchers have found that it is helpful to focus on how we appraise a situation rather than the situation itself when managing stress. By focusing on understanding and improving our appraisals, we can better approach challenges more effectively. Here are two ways to get started:
Develop your coping toolbox
When you begin to feel overwhelmed, ask yourself what coping strategies you have in your personal toolbox to deal with the situation. Coping strategies can either be managing the problem itself, such as seeking information or developing action plans, or managing the emotions that you are experiencing, such as practicing relaxation techniques or seeking emotional support.
For example, when I was feeling overwhelmed by a project recently, I stopped and wrote down a list of 5 or 6 strategies I could leverage from my personal coping toolbox. Based on these ideas, I proactively went for a walk to calm my nerves (an emotion-focused coping strategy) and then called a colleague to help gather information in order to start developing an action plan (a problem-focused coping strategy). Although the stress didn’t disappear, it immediately began to feel more manageable.
Climb out of any mind traps you have fallen into
Our minds often distort the truth, causing us to fall into cognitive traps that we aren’t aware of but that greatly influence our appraisals of situations. Consider the common way many minds tend to revert to all-or-nothing thinking, where, for example, an employee might think, “This project is ruined because we missed one deadline," ignoring any partial successes or progress made.
Or consider catastrophizing, a cognitive distortion where one assumes the worst possible outcome will happen, often blowing situations out of proportion. For example, an employee might think, "If I don’t get this presentation right, I'll get fired and will never find another job," despite the situation being far less dire. Other common mind traps include overgeneralizing the likelihood or past situations recurring, over-assigning blame to ourselves, and feeling guilty when things don’t go exactly as you believe they should have.
To make sure you aren’t unduly influenced by mind traps, you can take three steps: First, check the facts. Do people in your company actually get fired for not getting presentations perfect? Second, try to brainstorm potential other outcomes or explanations. What will happen if the presentation goes better than expected? Three, check with someone else. You could go to a trusted colleague and ask them if your fears are warranted or for tips for success.
Recognizing that our perspective shapes our experience of stress at work empowers us to manage it more effectively. By focusing on our coping strategies and being mindful of cognitive distortions, we can navigate challenges with greater resilience. Shifting our mindset and utilizing these tools can transform how we approach stressful situations, making them feel more manageable and less overwhelming.
