How to Say Yes When Others Offer to Help Your Business

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Whether you’re a start-up founder with informal advisors who want to support your journey from concept to company, or a nonprofit director who relies mightily on the engagement of volunteer board members to advance the organization's mission, it feels wonderful when others express enthusiasm for the work you’re doing. And glitter-encrusted unicorns dance in the sky when they ask this one golden question: “How can I help?”

Responding well in these moments can be a game-changer for entrepreneurs, start-up founders, nonprofit directors, and others. But, knowing how to respond to such a generous offer is sometimes easier said than done.

What exactly did they have in mind? Are you expected to repay the favor in kind? Are there offers of help you should actually say no to? How do you say yes without sounding grubby? How do you hold a volunteer accountable for delivering the thing they offered when, let’s face it, they obviously don’t have to do anything for you?

The interpersonal dynamics involved in fuzzy situations like these give many people angst. On the one hand, you might worry about sounding too demanding: “You had promised to transfer $100,000 into my start-up’s account by today at 5:00 PM. It’s 5:05. You're late. Where’s the cash?”

On the other hand, you might feel uncomfortable giving any constraints at all. “Sure, we’ll take whatever help you can give. Just let me know.” A mushy reply leaves the other person baffled as to how they can best support you and your work. Worse, they might interpret the lack of specificity as a sign you don’t actually need or want their involvement, and they disengage.

Tricky, right?

Here are six steps you can take to navigate the interpersonal dynamics at play in “How can I help?” situations.

1. Know what you need. The question “How can I help?” can pop up at the most unexpected times. Be ready for it. At the beginning of each week or month or quarter, ask yourself: “What perspectives, tools, resources, or know-how does my project most need right now to advance toward the goal?” You need to know and be able to articulate your most immediate and present needs at the drop of a hat. These needs will generally fall into the following bins: time, talent, treasure, or introductions. Maintain a “help” document where you record the kind of help you most need at this particular time.
2. When someone offers help, ask what they had in mind. Your cheerleaders will each have a unique constellation of interests and capacities. You won’t always know what those are in advance of your conversation. An important step, then, is to simply say, “Wow. Thank you so much. I’m truly touched by your offer of support. What sort of support are you best positioned to provide?” They might have something specific in mind or at least offer a domain of interest. They might say, “I don’t really know what exactly I could do, but I like what you’re doing and would love to contribute. I know a lot of people in tech, if that could be useful.” Or, they might say, "I have decades of experience in finance; do you have a treasurer on your board already?" Update your “help” document to include the types of help that have been offered by whom.
3. Present a short menu. Share your top two or three needs. Ask if those are things your cheerleader might be able to help with in some way If they say no, that those needs aren’t aligned with their capacities, ask if you can follow up with them down the road when your project needs better align with their particular sort of support. Of course, thank them sincerely for their interest in supporting the work. Generally, resist the urge to accept the help you don’t actually need; doing so can create administrative and interpersonal drag.
4. Set expectations. Now, if your cheerleader indicates that their capacities align with your needs, explore the size of the commitment. Get a handle on what they’re volunteering, a few hours or a few hundred hours, and over what period of time. It’s a good idea to be explicit: “I will appreciate every single bit of your support on this project. So that you and I both have a good idea of what that support will look like, and so that I don’t lean too much or too little on your kindness, I’d like to ask a couple of clarifying questions.” You can ask questions like: “How much time would you be able to contribute over the coming month?” “When you say you could help with search engine optimization, would you be able to meet with our web designer yet this week?” Or "We would need to set a hard deadline on the one; would you be able to deliver this by mid-month?" Unless you’ve worked with somebody before and know you work brilliantly together, it’s also a good idea to make clear the duration of this particular support. You might say, “Let’s give this a go for the next two months, then we will regroup to see if an ongoing arrangement makes sense for us both; I don’t want either of us to feel like we need to commit beyond the near-term horizon.”
5. Clarify the next steps. Now that it’s clear how your cheerleader can and will help, you need to make sure the path is clear for them to activate. Ask what support, information, or resources they need from you and by when they need them. Specify dates for next meetings, communications, or deliverables. Establish how and when you’ll follow up. For instance, you might say, “I’ll check in after the first of the month to see how you’re getting on.”
6. Document via email. Be sure to follow up with a brief email summarizing what you agreed to. It can be as simple as, “Thanks a million for offering to introduce me to Person 1, Person 2, and Person 3 this month. Per your request, my formal bio and resume are attached.”

Accepting the right kind of support at the right time from enthusiastic cheerleaders of you and your work increases your chances of success.