Positive Psychology
It Is OK to Let Things Go
Do you ever find yourself trying to prevent things that you cannot control?
Updated June 22, 2024 Reviewed by Gary Drevitch
Key points
- Learning to let go of things can be valuable for personal growth and emotional well-being.
- Instead of worrying about things beyond our control, we should focus on what we have the power to change.
- Mindfulness allows us to notice emotions in the moment and consciously choose to soften, breathe, and let go.
Do you ever find yourself trying to prevent, predict, or plan things that you cannot possibly control? It happens to me as well.
I have noticed a trend in myself that I feel the need to make things happen instead of allowing events to occur. Although I'm certainly better than I used to be about this, it would be fair to say that I still deal with control issues from time to time.
One place in which I find it easy to let go is being late while using public transport. I used to ride the London Underground daily for years. In most cases, it was predictable and punctual, but sometimes things failed, and I would be stuck, occasionally for long periods. I watched the clock ticking while my hope of arriving on time faded. During those moments, I would breathe consciously, let go, and allow my body to soften—sometimes I even found that I could smile with acceptance. That's a success story—with other events, I was not as allowing and accepting.
As someone on the journey of discovering that it is OK to let things go, and unfold naturally, I wanted to share my thoughts on why it feels so hard to embrace and surrender—and how we can progress with it.
Learning to let go of things can be valuable for personal growth and emotional well-being. I recommend three strategies to help you strengthen your "letting go" muscle.
Recognize What You Can Control
Certain things in life are beyond what any of us can control. Instead of spending time worrying about these variables, focus your energy and attention on what you have the power to influence or change. If something doesn't fall into that category, let it go.
Practice Mindfulness
When you are trying to control, your body and mind are getting tighter, stressed, holding. It feels uncomfortable. Mindfulness allows you to notice at the moment and consciously choose to soften, breathe, and let go. By practicing this daily, you can observe your attachment to specific ideas or events and have a practical technique to let go of them instead of clinging to them.
Create a Support System
Surround yourself with positive, caring people who can provide perspective, encouragement, and guidance when needed. Sharing your thoughts and emotions with trusted individuals often helps in letting go.
Letting go is often a process that takes time and practice. Be patient with yourself and acknowledge that it's OK to feel a range of emotions during this journey.
With you in the Letting Go journey,
Dr. Itai Ivtzan
Dr. Itai Ivtzan is a positive psychologist, Professor at Naropa University, and the director of the School of Positive Transformation.
Check out Itai Ivtzan's Single Session Therapy on Psychology Today: bit.ly/Psych-Today123
You can find his courses on his school’s website: www.SchoolofPositiveTransformation.com/
His most popular courses are the online Meditation and Mindfulness Teacher Training, which offers an in-depth training to become a formal teacher of meditation, and the Positive Psychology Practitioner Certificate, which certifies you as a positive psychology practitioner.