Infidelity and Entitlement in "Anatomy of a Scandal"

Spoiler Alert! I will be discussing examples and plots from "Anatomy of a Scandal." If you haven't seen it, you may want to watch it first and read this after.

The ending of a marriage

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The Whitehouses

Sophie (Sienna Miller) is the classic popular girl turned wealthy wife. She is confident, social, and settled, at least until she discovers her husband's affair. Sophie maintains composure and offers public support for her husband, but in private she is direct about her unhappiness and suspicions.

And then there’s James (Rupert Friend). Has there ever been anyone so annoyingly successful as James? From his Oxford years, we see him excelling at everything he tries, and his success only continues. He is a wealthy and charming politician with a lovely family, and the only problem in James's life is...James. He thinks the world, and all the people in it, are his to take. To be fair, he was raised to believe this, and, for much of his life, it has been true.

Healing From Infidelity

From the very first episode, we witness the painful experience of an affair coming to light. It is made even more painful by the publicity and pressure to act like a happy family and worsened still by the fact that the affair partner is also pursuing a lawsuit against James claiming that he raped her.

Discovering an affair is disorienting, to say the least. The person who was cheated on will have many questions, and they will need answers, along with patience, as they take time to process the breach of trust. They will need to understand why the affair happened and then decide if they want to stay in the relationship.

And infidelity doesn’t just happen. Research by the Gottman Institute has shown that there are usually problems in a relationship that precede cheating, such as important needs that aren't being met. A common culprit is when someone turns away, ignoring their partner's requests and feelings, which breeds loneliness and anger. Cheating is a symptom of marital issues, but it then becomes a cause of them.

The night of the disclosure, Sophie asks what Esther Perel calls investigative questions (and a few detective ones) about the affair. She seeks clarity about why it happened, in addition to wanting some details of where and how often.

When pushed for an explanation, James admits he has been stressed at work, and Olivia (Naomi Scott) was there for him, giving him attention and making him feel important. But he is quick to downplay this and reassure Sophie that their marriage has not been a source of unhappiness to him and that this affair is due to his own poor judgment.

Now this, I think, is true.

I can imagine that their marriage was as good as it could possibly be. They had emotional intimacy, a satisfying sex life, shared meaning through raising their children, and a mutual friend group. So, why did he cheat?

Well, why did he cheat back in college at Oxford? Has he been secretly unhappy with Sophie this whole time?

No, I think that their relationship was as affair-proof as it could have been, except for one important factor, which is James himself. Whereas most affairs happen because there are significant issues in the relationship, this affair appears to be entirely about James's personality.

Antisocial Personality Disorder?

People with APD lack empathy

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People with antisocial personality disorder (APD) meet certain criteria that include, to name a few from the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the following:

Those with APD have impairments in personality functioning, including these:

1. Self-functioning impairments, such as one's identity and self-esteem dependent on personal gain or setting personal goals that are not prosocial.
2. Interpersonal functioning impairments, such as a lack of empathy for others even after hurting them or an inability to demonstrate authentic intimacy that is not exploitative.

Infidelity Essential Reads

The Paradox of Infidelity: Unveiling Why Happy Partners Cheat

The 5 Most Common Reasons Why Women Cheat

Individuals with APD also demonstrate certain pathological traits in two areas:

1. Antagonism: being manipulative, deceitful, callous, and/or hostile
2. Disinhibition: being irresponsible, impulsive, and engaging in risk-taking

James Whitehouse easily meets many of the criteria for APD.

• He has broken rules from a young age, even for things as unimportant as Monopoly, but also for significant events like disposing of evidence related to a classmate’s death.
• He doesn't appear to show genuine empathy or remorse for hurting Sophie. His upset feelings are mainly for himself, that he must deal with the consequences of his actions.
• He is also manipulative and deceitful, even admitting to lying under oath in court because it made him look better than the truth.
• He can be disinhibited and impulsive, as is evidenced by his history of sexual assaults.

However, I don't think we can label him with APD.

Here's why.

James does not display empathy for others' feelings or remorse for his actions, but that's because he truly does not think he has done anything wrong. Raised in obscene privilege, he is unaware of his impact on others.

His lack of empathy and awareness doesn't reflect an innate inability but, rather, a learned sense of entitlement and blamelessness. James is astounded by the idea that someone could not want to have sex with him, and he sees their protests as disingenuous murmurs that they hope he will ignore. This is very different than James knowing that he has transgressed against another person and not feeling remorse about it.

If we could strip James of his entitlement and privilege, and we could get him to see that he has hurt other people, there’s a good chance he would feel terrible.

The Assessment: Leave Them

Their fake marriage was perfect. Before the truth came to light, Sophie and James were the couple that so many aspire to be. They were successful, supportive of each other, and able to navigate annoyances (like James not showing up to a party) with understanding and humor. But their real marriage isn’t worth saving.

Sophie's attempts at communication and healing from the affair were admirable. Her insistence on holding James accountable for past actions and trying to understand how he could have cheated show her commitment to working on the relationship.

However, her efforts are stymied by James, who tries to skip the conversations necessary for healing, lies whenever it's in his best interest, and cannot see anything aside from his own needs. It's impossible to be in a genuine, deep, honest relationship with someone as self-focused and entitled as James. No point in trying to make this marriage work—best to leave it, which is exactly what she did.