Bringing Spiritual Insights Into Language

Spiritual teachings may inspire you to seek higher truths and embrace values such as kindness, compassion, mindfulness, and interconnectedness. But how do you make the transition from lofty spiritual ideals or even spiritual insights into your everyday life and relationships? This question arises for all of us and comes from the clash between our conditioned patterns of behavior (our habits) and the transformative ideals we encounter in spiritual practices and experiences.

In my podcast “Waking Up is Not Enough: Flourishing in the Human Space,” my co-host Michael Berger and I converse with each other and our guests about how to integrate spiritual experiences, especially profound insights and shocks to our sense of “reality.”

The first step is to bring them into your own awareness and into some kind of language, so you can capture what you saw/heard/felt. If it was a profound or life-altering experience, then it is important to write down what you’ve grasped. Writing down, especially with a pen or pencil, embodies more completely what may have passed swiftly by and now seems wispy or even overwhelming. Then, it’s a good idea to s-l-o-w d-o-w-n your desire to download your ideas to other people.

Real Dialogue

Over recent years, I have been teaching and developing a skill called Real Dialogue. The skill has three mindfulness components: Speaking for Yourself, Listening Mindfully, and Remaining Curious. Real Dialogue is neither a conflict resolution formula nor a particular manner of speaking. It asks the speaker to slow down and speak entirely from first-person experience. Yes, in I-statements, but also in a modest and mindful way: “I remember it like this…” “I have the impression…” or “I felt like this.” Each of these subjective statements reminds the speaker and the listener that the speaker is expressing only first-person insights and not saying “this is the way it is.”

If the listener is able, the listener should paraphrase or summarize what was said and step into the world of the speaker. “Here’s how I am understanding what you are saying… Did I get that?” Paraphrasing should not sound like parroting, but more like looking around in a new environment (the speaker’s) and trying to describe how you see it. If the speaker and listener follow these two rules of conduct (especially if the listener checks “Did I get that?”), each person will grow in curiosity about what the other one is saying and experiencing. Through the three-part skill of Real Dialogue, we can create an opportunity to authentically examine how spiritual teachings resonate with our personal experiences by putting our experiences into words and then sharing them mindfully.

This practice enables us to integrate complex and unusual spiritual experiences into our lives in a way that feels genuine and transformative. If a fellow seeker says “Oh, I see what you mean!” and reflects us accurately, we start to understand our experiences more fully. Having a friend hold up an interpersonal mirror is a very effective way to make sense of what might otherwise feel abstract or overwhelming.

Embracing Paradoxes

Many spiritual teachings and insights are rife with paradoxical statements that challenge our conventional understanding. By engaging in dialogue, we can explore the layers of meaning within these paradoxes and discover how they relate to our daily struggles and triumphs. By speaking for yourself and listening mindfully, you learn to recognize each individual journey as unique. You learn to honor your own personal experiences and perspectives while also broadening into hearing about others. In this way, the practice facilitates a transition from feeling confused or left out of spiritual community to sharing and being able to unpack the most sublime or complicated insights.

As your old habits and conditioned responses persist, you can return to the skill of Real Dialogue to explore these resistances with a friend, and perhaps uncover the underlying reasons for them. Your slow and mindful self-awareness, shared with friends, will help you dismantle barriers that hinder the integration of spiritual insights.

Conclusion

Bringing the teachings of unity, compassion, and mindfulness into our daily lives is an ongoing process of insight, awareness, expression, and listening. It requires a willingness to confront challenges, question assumptions, and engage in open conversations. In Real Dialogue, we have a powerful tool to navigate this journey with authenticity and grace. By exploring our experiences in dialogue, we create a bridge that spans the gap between the sometimes ethereal world of spirituality and the tangible world of our everyday life.