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Motivation
Doing What Is Meaningful for You Increases Quality of Life
Aligning our daily behaviors with our values can help.
Posted April 22, 2023 Reviewed by Lybi Ma
Key points
- Quality of life, or how satisfied one feels about their life overall, can diminish when living with a chronic health condition.
- One reason why quality of life diminishes is that we are no longer doing things that are important to us.
- The more your daily behaviors align with your values, the stronger the quality of life.
- Reflecting on values and setting realistic goals that match values, can increase motivation, meaning, and purpose in life.
Quality of life, or how satisfied a person feels about their life overall, can diminish when living with chronic pain or a chronic health condition. Perhaps your health has made it impossible to do certain activities you once enjoyed, changed the way you can do activities, or decreased the enjoyment you feel. Day-to-day life now feels like an exhausting grind and you have lost your sense of ease. This is a hard pill to swallow.
When in pain and fatigued, we are often focused on just getting through the day. Our limited energy goes toward the things that must be done, not necessarily the most meaningful or fun things. We don’t wake up in the morning and think, “I’m in pain and exhausted right now. Let’s go do something really meaningful!” We think, “I’m in pain and exhausted. Let’s just try to make it through the day.”
Values are simply what is meaningful to us. What we care about and consider important. Personal values are subjective and there are no right or wrong values. Values are not about what we think we should value or what others tell us to value. They are what we actually find meaningful and can change over time.
Generally speaking, the more our daily behaviors align with our values, the stronger our quality of life. One reason why the quality of life diminishes when living with a chronic health condition is that we are no longer doing things that are important to us. A chasm has emerged between our behaviors and values and it seems impossible to cross.
I am someone who values connection, relationships, and joy. When I am overly focused on my pain and fatigue, I am less connected to myself and others, less invested in nurturing my relationships, and less joyful. This can look like talking to my partner in an irritated tone of voice simply because I am tired, not taking the time to call a friend, or not going outside and feeling the sun on my face. And, ultimately, my quality of life suffers.
Quality of life matters and I define living well with a chronic health condition as maintaining the quality of life. A key way we do so is by aligning our daily behaviors with our values.
How do you spend your time?
Sit down and reflect on your daily behaviors and how you spend your time. Think of a typical day and make a list of the things you do during that day.
Connect with your why, your values
What is important and meaningful to you in life?
What do you want to stand for in life?
What qualities do you want to bring to your actions?
Values are like directions on a compass that we want to head in. They provide a guide for our behaviors. They are ongoing and unlike goals, they can’t be achieved. For example, if I value creativity, I can’t accomplish creativity, cross it off my list, and be done with it. I can accomplish a specific creative goal, yet the larger value of creativity remains. To aid consideration of your values, a short list of value words is included at the end of this post.
Do your daily behaviors match your values?
Next, ask yourself: Do my behaviors align with my values?
If they don’t, this can signal domains of possible helpful change. This is not meant to be a critical exercise where you judge or criticize yourself for not living your values. Rather, it is meant to serve as a reminder of what is most important to you.
Set a values-based goal
If there are gaps between your daily behaviors and your larger values, aim to create a small and realistic goal that is achievable and offers the opportunity to enhance your quality of life. For example, if one of your values is interpersonal connection and you haven’t talked with a close friend in several weeks, you may create a goal to call them once a month. When creating goals, it is often best to start small and add to goals over time as helpful.
By thinking about your values, you can create more choices in your behavior, and by setting realistic goals that match your values you can feel more motivation, meaning, and purpose in life regardless of whether you are living with a chronic health condition.
Values List: Communication, connection, learning, love, nature, humor, honesty, curiosity, learning, boldness, flexibility, reliability, kindness, loyalty, fitness, peace, respect, beauty, family, patience, generosity, tolerance, spirituality, trust, understanding, dependability, fun, creativity, gratitude, diversity, perseverance, spontaneity, compassion, courage, adventure.
