Relationships
Single-at-Heart Readers, Take a Look at This!
Reader asks if it’s normal to dream of being single
Posted July 28, 2011
Couldn't wait to share this one with you! The Boston Globe has a "Love Letters" column, and recently, a reader sent in a question that was published under the heading, "Sometimes I want to be single." The reader, who calls herself ILE ("Is Love Enough?"), first talks about a wonderful man with whom she has been in a serious relationship for several years. She even says about him, "As cheesy as it sounds, my heart still flutters when I am around him. It's perfect. Really." They are thinking about moving in and getting married.
Then she says this:
"So then why, at times, do I feel that I should just be alone? Let me clarify this. Maybe every six months or so, I wonder if I am just not meant to be in a relationship. I have always been kind of a free spirit, independent, spur-of-the-moment kind of woman. While my boyfriend has never tried to tame that side of me, once you are in a relationship, it just naturally changes because you have someone else to consider when making these last-minute decisions...
These feelings, I have noticed, tend to come up when I am driving up the coast alone with the top down.
I haven't really broached the subject with my boyfriend yet because I don't want him to think I want to break up with him and I certainly don't want to scare him off. But is what I am feeling normal?"
So, dear readers, have at it! Tell ILE what you think. I'll have my say tomorrow on WBUR, an NPR affiliate in Boston. (I love Boston but I won't be there; I'm doing the show from a studio in Santa Barbara.) I bet you can guess the 3-word phrase I'll be using a lot: Single at heart! (Is she or isn't she?)
(You can read the entire letter, and the advice columnist's response, here.)