Why Do People Make Bad Choices?

Why do human beings make bad choices and remain committed to them even when they prove disastrous? The answer is complex and has a lot to do with the individual making the choice. But in general, bad choices have to do with acting out of emotion and not out of reason. Unfortunately, strong emotions can cloud our thinking and move us to do things that are not smart. This is true whether it is making a choice about a life partner or voting for a political candidate. Acting on emotion and not reason can lead us down one rabbit hole after another since we may attempt to justify our choice by making other bad choices.

Why do we sometimes double down on a bad choice even when it's clear to those around us and perhaps to some degree ourselves that the choice was wrong? Doubling down may have a lot to do with our ego and whether or not we can admit that we've made a mistake. Narcissists will usually not admit a mistake since doing this is contrary to who they see themselves as being. But many of us who are not narcissistic often have a hard time with this. We may feel that we have made a commitment and need to stick with it. In a bad relationship, we may assume that things will eventually change for the better and our choice will be proven to be a good one in the end. We keep hoping things will work out.

There is an old study in the advertising literature that found that we are more likely to read advertisements for products that we have bought even if the product has proved to be "a lemon." So you may want to ask yourself, how many lemons you are still hanging onto and trying to make into lemonade?

Resilience has much to do with being able to deal with strong emotions and not let emotion alone make decisions for us. Considering emotion is important. Passion for something can move us forward, but it can also blur our vision. We need to think about what is right, not just feel what is right. Going with our "gut feeling" can work when we also use our head.

Doubling down is not a good strategy in general. We need to be able to admit when we made mistakes and not let our ego prevent us from doing this. If we are to heal the divides in our lives and our world we need to admit when we made an error and be willing to say that we are sorry and apologize. There is absolutely nothing wrong with doing this. It's a lot smarter than not admitting fault. There is much to be learned from the mistakes that we make. So admit you're wrong when you are and stop trying to make lemonade out of rotten lemons.