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In previous blogs, we discussed the importance of being optimistic rather than pessimistic, of seeing most things as being temporary and not permanent, of realizing that few things have a pervasive effect on our lives, and of understanding that accountability is important, but blaming is a waste of time and energy. We also talked about the importance of being connected to others and being able to communicate well and problem-solve both individually and together. As with the above skills, managing strong feelings is critical. To do this, we must first recognize how we are feeling and then be able to make a decision about how we want to express and discharge these feelings.
Anger is a powerful emotion. It can be either good or bad, depending on how we want to use the energy in the anger. We also discussed the importance of creating purpose and meaning in the present.
In this post, we are going to be talking about other resilience skills, with flexibility being on the top of my list. Being flexible does not mean being "wishy-washy." We need to stand for what we believe in and be assertive in doing so. But we also need to be mature about it.
Being flexible is one of the key components of emotional maturity, and I am referring both to our thinking and our actions. We do not need to dig our heels in on things just to prove a point. We need to evaluate the benefits of standing our ground. What's the cost, and what are the benefits? Is it worth it? If we are going to heal the divides in this country, flexibility will be required on all sides.
We also need to be self-confident. If we are to confront and manage the fear and anxiety in this country, we must be confident in our ability to do so. And for many of us, it may be doing what the old AA expression says, "Fake it until you make it."
We also need to take care of ourselves better than we and been doing. During the pandemic, many of us have gained weight and haven't got much exercise. As things hopefully begin to get better, we need to watch our diet, exercise, and do other things to take care of our physical, emotional, and financial health.
First responders and health care professionals are often major offenders in this area. We often assume that the rules do not apply to us, but they do. Make a smart plan for exercise and for losing weight. A smart plan involves deciding specifically what we are going to do, making sure it is measurable, attainable, and realistic. And having a timeframe in which to accomplish it.
We need to help others through these hard times. Caring for others, both physically and emotionally, will help us build our own resilience. Get involved with your community. Volunteer. Even with COVID, you can find ways to do this. Don't isolate.
And last of all, and one of my favorite resilience skills, is humor. We, as human beings, often take ourselves way too seriously. Lighten up.
Even in these sad and stressful times, if we look, we can find beauty, and we can find humor. Whether humor is sick or dark often depends on the setting. Laughter has healing powers. Discover those if you haven't already.
