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In our society at present, there is no shortage of things to get upset over and to feel outraged about. Depending on your point of view, your politics, it could be the President, the Democrats, impeachment, the environment, the war in Syria, the healthcare system, etc. The question we should probably ask is, does expressing outrage really work to move things forward? On social media it certainly will get you more clicks and if your goal is to sell advertising, expressing outrage works.
But if you're really interested in changing other people's minds it probably doesn't. Turning the volume up eventually results in fatigue and disengagement. If our goal is to really change people's minds about an issue, speaking to them in a respectful and measured way tends to work better.
And here is how this relates to resilience. Obviously we need a lot of it these days to deal with the dilemmas that we are facing. We also need resilience skills to find allies, people who will support us in our way of looking at things. If we are to really connect with people we must communicate in a way that gets people's attention, keeps their attention, and motivates them to think critically and to take positive action.
To do this we need to manage our strong feelings. Taking them out on someone with a different point of view will only alienate them and push them further into the silo and echo chamber that they may already be in. We need to listen more, especially to the people who hold different points of view and with whom we disagree.
Finding a purpose to do this is easy. If we continue on the course that we are on, there will only be more division and talk of civil war. We need to see the big picture. We should be concerned with winning the war together. We need to prioritize what is important and take action in a way that moves things forward. And if we need to vent and discharge a lot of the feelings that we have in order to do this, we need to do it with someone who is already supporting us and agrees with us.
We need to be flexible and look for ways to bring people together, not to create more division. We need to problem-solve, not just with the people we agree with, but with the people with whom we disagree. We need to be open to their ideas and see if we can find a way through this; find a compromise. Compromise should not be a dirty word. To take no prisoners mentality is wrong. It will destroy our democracy and our country.
We are all in this together. Whether we like it or not. The advice that I have just given is for all of us no matter what our point of view or politics may be. I assume we all love this country, would like to keep it together, and in one piece. As Lincoln said, "A house divided cannot stand."
