Why Your Creative Soul Makes You Single

Creativity leads to greater happiness among singles

Source: Photo by Uriel Mont from Pexels

This post was written with Abigail Winokur of Yeshiva University and Hebrew University's Rothberg School.

Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet is regarded by many as one of the greatest tributes to love of all time. His creative tale of passion, forbidden romance, and young love is a story that has earned him many accolades and inspired countless other narratives and plights of romantic passion. Writing in Scientific American, psychologist Nira Liberman argues that there is an idea that “...falling in love—or at least thinking about love—lead[s]... to a spur of creative productivity.” After all, she writes, love has “inspired countless works of art, [from] Romeo and Juliet… to the Taj Mahal.”

However, researchers have found that singles actually engage in some types of creativity, namely artistic creativity, more than coupled people. Researchers Kelly Campbell and James Kaufman conducted a study examining the relationship between “love, personality, and creativity for people in relationships of varying durations.” They found that the longer one was in a romantic relationship, the less artistic creativity they exhibited.

Yet they also found that “everyday and self-assessed creativity” was positively associated with relationship length. This indicates that in general, everyday creativity is a crucial part of a healthy partnership.

This same logic can be extended to a healthy relationship with the self: If creativity is an important component in a partnership, clearly, it must be something important for individuals to engage in. Creativity and the arts help give us meaning in life. Together, they are a force. Whether that force is small or large, we all engage in it daily.

Perhaps one who chooses to be single is already fulfilled by the meaning they find by engaging in creativity. One who is already intrinsically motivated to engage in creativity may choose to spend their time participating in the arts rather than with a partner. In an interview with Mic, Kaufman said:

"In essence, what we found was that some creativity, like everyday creativity (the kinds of things you do every day, like cooking or making a scrapbook) was positively associated with passion, intimacy and commitment. Whereas artistic creativity (writing, acting, painting) was negatively associated with all three love components.”

Solitude Spurs Creativity

Additionally, the solitude of some singles can lead to an increase in creativity, as when our minds have more freedom to wander, our brains are stimulated. Kaufman also said that "Artistic creative acts tend to be more solo. In some ways, it's not that different from people being 'married to their work'—some people can be 'married to their art.'" In fact, the researchers also hypothesized that the energy needed to actually engage in deeply creative acts can take away from the energy needed to sustain a long-term relationship.

Niloo Dardashti, psychologist and relationship expert, strengthened this idea by bringing forth some of the concerns of her patients. In an interview with Time, Dardashti noted that singlehood creates more space for creativity, whereas “for the average person, it’s hard to balance those two.” The energy required to both pursue creativity and maintain a healthy, strong, and fulfilling relationship may not coexist in perfect harmony. Rather, those who focus on creativity may be those who choose to be happily single, as they prefer to focus their efforts elsewhere. On the flip side, those who are less creatively inclined may seek fulfillment through a relationship, as we are all seeking a life of meaning and joy.

Fenton Johnson, author of At the Center of All Beauty: Solitude and the Creative Life, talks about the importance of solitude to creativity. He argues that it’s even vital to creativity, citing examples like Emily Dickinson, who declined a marriage offer later in her life. She is one of many creative souls who chose to be happily single, as that solitude spurred creativity. It’s highly likely that those who are so artistically inclined are the same people who actively choose solitude and singlehood.

There’s no denying that a relationship with another individual can be beautiful. Johnson writes that he is “more deeply touched by those who forge a relationship with all.” Individuals who have the energy to connect with their inner creative energy and share that with the world have a unique gift that someone who is coupled can simply not provide in the same way. While again, relationships can be beautiful on their own, those who have the ability to relate to the creativity within the world have a unique and valuable perspective on themselves, the world, and other people.

Creativity Essential Reads

The Myth That Stifles Your Creativity

How to Foster Creative Insight When You Have No Time

Some happy singles who chase creativity may be doing so for one stand-out reason: The creative energies they have spurred by solitude (not loneliness) create a perfect recipe for an individual who wants to express their internal gifts with the rest of the world. They may have plenty of emotional energy to expend, they just choose to expend it beyond the confines of a romantic relationship. And that creative and personal fulfillment seems to be invaluable.