Watching Emotional Waves

Seeing emotions as waves, and observing your own emotional waves and the emotional waves of others, can be extremely helpful in difficult situations in sport, business, and life. In most situations in daily life, such as those that occur on a sports team or business team, among a group of friends or in a family, many different emotional waves can combine at one time.

In physics, when two big waves peak at the same time, they create an extremely large, powerful wave; the phenomenon is called constructive interference. When a big wave meets small ripples or a big wave combines with a trough, the big wave is neutralized, creating calmer water; this is called destructive interference. Sometimes things aren’t so simple, and the combination of different waves creates what is known as mixed interference.

Can you recall a time when someone, maybe even you, had a big emotional wave and then another person, or several people, added their big waves, and there was a team tsunami? A dramatic example of a sports team tsunami is a bench-clearing brawl.

Can you recall a time when someone, maybe even you, had a big wave, and then another person, or several people, added a calm trough, creating smoother waters?

Can you recall a time when someone, maybe even you, had a big wave and different people added various combinations of big waves and smooth water? One common example of mixed interference in sports is individual team members reacting or responding to changes in the coaching staff. Often some people are extremely upset while others try to make the best of it and move forward.

To further complicate things, one person may have more than one emotional wave at a time, and multiple people may be involved in a particular situation. Consider this the next time you’re in the middle of a heated moment or disagreement. At a minimum, when we realize we are overcome by intense emotional waves, we can take a breath and allow the intensity to pass.

The idea of emotional waves is not meant to suggest that you will never be upset or that you will always be able to add calm to a situation. But learning to respond to your emotional waves and the emotional waves of others can literally be a game changer.

For example, in the 2015 Women’s World Cup semifinals against Germany, U.S. defender Julie Johnston made an error that resulted in a goal-scoring opportunity for Germany. If all of the U.S. players had been overcome by waves of hopelessness, doubt, or anger, they would have been caught in a team tsunami. Instead seven teammates reassured Johnston that it would be okay, regardless of the outcome of the penalty kick. At a critical moment, Johnston’s teammates offered calm, compassionate communication to support her in getting her head back in the game. The German player failed to score on the penalty kick, and the U.S. went on to win 2–0.

This is a real life example of how observing your own emotional waves and the emotional waves of others and choosing how you respond can be extremely helpful in difficult situations.