The Grass Is Always Greener

Mobility is in our genes. Our hunter-gatherer ancestors were nomads. They traveled out of Africa, through Europe and Asia, and, eventually, to North and South America. But there are profound differences between the movements of foraging bands and the extraordinary mobility people have today. A band moved as a group, and their social relationships remained intact no matter where the band went. Band members could continue to count on one another for assistance. They knew who they were and where they belonged.

Modern mobility creates a plethora of opportunities for individuals. Being able to get a better job, live in different places, see the world, and change locations and careers is a gift for many. But it can also create trouble. For example, willingness to move is often a job requirement, and moving a family can be terribly stressful for all. Parents and kids must leave their friends. One parent may have to give up a job so that the other parent can take a job in a new place. Kids have to navigate new schools. All have to navigate a new community, find new support networks, make new friends. Sometimes all goes well; often there are problems and angst. An acquaintance of mine followed opportunities from place to place, uprooting his family each time. One of his children had trouble making friends in new schools, got into drugs, and dropped out when he turned 16. His wife struggled to keep the family together, but eventually she was overwhelmed and filed for divorce.

Mobility breaks up extended families. At one time I lived with my wife and children in Massachusetts, one brother and his family lived in Louisiana, another brother and my sister lived in Washington, and my parents lived in Michigan. We got together as often as we could, but when we did we always said that it was a shame we lived so far apart.

Having the ability to pack up and leave a difficult situation means that difficult situations often don’t get resolved. Mobility makes it possible to avoid dealing with problems that, therefore, never go away. A colleague of mine couldn’t stay in a position more than a few years because she had to keep “moving up.” She was caught in what seemed to me a compulsion to compete that made it impossible for her to settle down and become part of a community. And, of course, the flip side of these itinerant competitors is that it soon becomes evident to their co-workers that they can’t be trusted or relied on, that they are unable to make a commitment.

Another problem with mobility is that the transportation we demand (and love) is polluting the planet. According to the Environmental Protection Agency, planes, trains, and automobiles are responsible for 28% of greenhouse gas emissions in the United States (Fast Facts on Transportation Greenhouse Gas Emissions | Green Vehicle Guide | US EPA). So, in addition to the social and psychological problems associated with moving around a lot, modern mobility is wreaking havoc on the environment.

Finally, extraordinary mobility contributes to dissatisfaction and anxiety that plague so many people today: Will the job I’m in now last? Could I find a better job somewhere else? Will I be asked to move to a new location? Will my company move operations to another city or a foreign country? We humans have moved from one place to another since our ancestors left Africa more than 100,000 years ago. But in the process of creating greater and greater mobility for individuals, often at the expense of family and community, we have lost much of the certainty that was a legacy of human evolution. Yet another unintended consequence.